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Son POA for grandmother. She suffered ischemic stroke, which changed her personality and reasonable thinking, I wrote the question that I went looked and made demands on her behalf that my son follow the list of things that needed to be done, for her safety and well being. I have another question, My son announced that he and wife # 4 were moving to West Virginia and not returning to Illinois. He seldom went to see if she was ok but can a POA move out of state a long distance knowing he is not ever coming back, and remain POA. ? he did a pathetic job of it, but then knowingly moved to west Virginia How can this be? are there any related comments in the poa papers related to this issue, Thank you

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MaterK7552: Your post to GardenArtist was full of acrimony. You should apologize.
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Mater: God grief! Why did your son have side chick?
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GardenArtist: Thank you for the back story!
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Errata: What I think might have happened is that the GM named Mater's son and bypassed Mater, causing resentment, which she's channeling into finding fault with her son's management of his responsibilities.
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Llamalover, there's a backstory to this post. Three prior posts were on a similar topic, and were laced with hostility toward Mater's son. It was clear that she is very, very critical of her son.

As I remember from briefly skimming those posts before deciding not to step into an apparent mother/son minefield, the son is proxy for a grandmother. It was unclear if the GM was the son's, and Mater's mother, or if it was Mater's mother.

It was also unclear how Mater is involved, if she is, in the GM's care. As I read the other posts, I suspected the son was moving to get away from Mater. She seems to be very dissatisfied with him and wants him to march to the beat of her drum. Where the GM is in all this frictional situation is anyone's guess.
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Then why is he still the POA if he sucks at it?
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My son was out of the country working for a company and didn't know in advance when he would be back in town and I had his POA for all things - financial, real estate, medical, stocks, etc. and it wasn't changed until he moved back to his home state. He had no problem with my having POA from a distance since most banks here viewed the docs and then in some cases, emailed papers to him for signature or I would sign for him. He was 10,000 miles away and all the banks we dealt with had no problem with me signing his name once they saw the POA.
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You can be POA while living out of state, but if you feel that he is neglecting aspects of his fiduciary duties, you can see an attorney to have him removed. Also as a family member you do have the right to request an accounting of how he is spending her money. If he is using grandmas money for personal gain he can be prosecuted. I would see an elder law attorney if you have concerns. It is much better to stop financial exploitation before it gets out of control than to try to get money back after it had been spent. It seems suspicious he has suddenly moved out of state
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Are we talking medical or financial? I've had POAs most of my life (except childhood) and I've lived in dozens of states and have moved frequently. I've never had one stipulate about moving and that would be a very rare occasion. If the POA doesn't have moving restrictions, I'm 99% sure yours doesn't, then it should be good. The problem is the institution. No one has to abide by it. I've had banks, unfamiliar with POAs deny me access. Many require their own forms and especially once privacy became a serious issue. Just be sure to double check every account your loved one has. Hospitals are pretty blase about it. So long as it's a signed document by the patient, and it stipulates what you can and cannot do, they don't really care.
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POA is not an agreement to give hands on personal care, it is about giving either financial or medical oversight and being the final decision maker should any issues arise.
If there is a secondary person named your son could resign his position and the secondary could take over, if he is not willing to do that but neglecting his duties then you would likely have to apply for guardianship if the grandmother is no longer competent.
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Clarification (wish we could edit our responses!). My aunt is also 1,000 miles away from me, and I am getting guardianship in a state that neither she nor I live in, but she did live in until their move to Florida.
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If he is POA for Financial items he can easily take care of that from a distance, unless court is involved then he would have to return to Illinois.
If he is POA for Medical it might be difficult but not impossible to handle that from a distance but if he must sign anything at the hospital or doctors office again that means he must travel.
If he is willing to give up POA the same lawyer that drew up the first could be consulted and another drawn up. The problem is if the person that approved the POA is not cognizant you may have to go for Guardianship rather than POA. (not a great process, expensive and if you are guardian you will have to go to court to show how monies are spent)
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I am a POA for my uncle who is 1,000 miles away. It works despite the distance only because he needs 24/7 care and attendance, and his daughter, son, and daughter in law all assist in keeping me up to date, sending me his bills, allowing me to pay them and the daughter who cares for them, and deal with selling the real estate they left behind in another state when they moved. This week I will be getting guardianship of my aunt, his wife, who is in a nursing home with dementia. The guardianship is being issued from their former state because the law in that state allows it for a certain time after their citizens move out of state. To answer your question, our POA has a clause that if I ever fail to act, resign, or fail to act in my uncle's best interest, the other party has the right to step in. So much depends on what the POA says. The POA may be limited to only when she is incompetent, or it may allow the POA to be effective no matter what. Can you get a copy of the POA? If your son won't give it to you, there must be people he has provided copies to - her health care providers, the bank, the creditors? If he has not been paying her bills, that might be a good place to get a copy if you tell them you want to make sure her bills are being paid they become more amenable to sharing information - and you can flat out ask if the POA allows you to pay her bills if the son isn't. If you have concerns and Grandma is now incompetent, you can get a guardianship that will allow you to make all the decisions. My long roundabout intro was only to show that no one can presume what is or isn't in a POA, nor should they presume what the law is. Many POAs differ in what they do and don't include, and each state has different laws about guardianship. Good luck!
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The POA document may state the conditions under which he must relinquish the power, or it may not. The only wat to know is to review the document. There may be a successor POA listed in the document, again you would have to check the POA. He can resign the power to the successor. Grandma, if can prepare a new POA if it is determined that she has the capacity to do so.

Many successfully, are able to perform the duties from long distances. Perhaps a geriatric care manager woyld be able to help. Many times they are social workers that are able to help in difficult family situations like this sounds it may be.
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