Can a POA legally keep a relative from seeing their Mom? - AgingCare.com

Can a POA legally keep a relative from seeing their Mom?

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My sister has restricted me from seeing my mom but only on Saturdays with another person for two months now. My sister POA said I was making my mom dislike her. Now that the cnn comes she hears what my mom had always said before. My mom always talks about how mean my sister is (which is true) I would usually say something like well I can do this or that for you. Because she said the POA would not do anything for her. I want to know if that would be legal? She is as guilty as me, but I can't see my mom now, but POA can? From Arkansas. This legal system is all messed up!

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I am am in a similar situation in Canada.... Where my sister and I are both POA . My mom is living with my sister and 7 other people brought on by using the grandchildren. 2 x in the past 2 years my sister has pulled stunts to convince my mother I am not good for her(we are once again not speaking). To prove this is no jealousy on my behalf. I was caregiver for roughly 15 yrs living across the street. MY sister wants her to have no communication with any of her 4 other kids. Mom is 81 with all her faculties, but has always been very easy to manipulate. Is there anything I can do. Do I have any rights?
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That's terribly sad, Michael. I'm very sorry for your worries.

Isn't there a better way to give your wife access to spending money, though? How does she buy the things she wants - online, do you take her shopping, or what?
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I have a thieving and dope head step son who got his Mom to give him our pin to our
checking account.He broke us. I finally had to have all my checks sent to another account. The old account is still in her name and she will give him what she has in it which is $900.00 a month. She has dementia but I want her to be able to buy what she wants. He steals every time he comes to see her . Silver ware, cologne anything rings . I do not want him around our house. 
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Vicki sorry if I mis-spoke or misunderstood. I just know that my POA is a DURABLE POA and my medical is a POA with no durable. I was told that I should make sure the POA was Durable. Maybe someone on here can explain better than I can. I got most of my information from articles written on this site. If I am wrong, I stand corrected and will ask my attorney what the difference is. I know that I can due to the medical POA ask his niece to please follow certain rules when visiting him. One is not to scream at him. I will not tolerate that. PERIOD. But, if I am wrong maybe someone on here can explain the difference or maybe I will re-read the article one more time and like I said make a call to my attorney. Thanks for correcting me and I truly do appreciate it.
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Oregongirl... I am not an attorney and don't know all the ins and outs but most POA's are NOT Durable POA's. A "regular" POA your POA to handle your financial affairs ON YOUR BEHALF. This is a bit confusing because many elderly people are not coherent enough to express what they want the POA to do with their money. It does NOT the give the POA authority to make decisions about who can visit etc. I know this because my brother who is POA put my parents in a nursing home and they did not want to be there. I had offered to care for my parents at my home but my brother, his attorney, and the nursing home said I was not allowed to care for my parents or even take them out of the building or I would be arrested. I called Adult Protective Services who said my parents could go wherever they wanted and see whoever they wanted because they had not been declared legally incompetent. I took them home the next day without incident. The nursing home called Adult Protective Services and they investigated the home and care set-up to be sure my parents were being we cared for. I passed with flying colors. There is no "magic age" when you can tell your parent where to go or what to do. Like I said, my 21-year old daughter is my POA but she cannot tell me and my husband where to live or who we can see unless and until we are declared legally incompetent through a legal process involving a doctor and a judge. Unfortunately most people dont know this and sometimes abuse these misconceptions.
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Sharon, what caught my eye in your original post was that you said Mom said this... Mom said that... and in your profile you mentioned your Mom has Alzheimer's/Demetria. Please note that a trait of those with such memory issues like to tell stories that are not true. You need to make sure it is the "demetria" talking.
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As my DH says, there are to sides to every story. He is lucky he has u. Don't u love it when children think they entitled to parents money. I hope I can leave something to my girls. But what we have is going to our care if it comes to that.
I know a guy who wanted to keep his Mom in her home. She had been showing signs of Dementia for years. Her neighbor had lived nxt to this woman for over 60 yrs. She (and my nurses) had been telling him she should not be alone. She had the money for an AL he just didn't want to spend it.
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Correction. Having lived this myself, I know that an adult child/children who possess a power of attorney from their parent can in fact act in ALL capacities of that power of attorney giving them carte blanche in ALL matters if it so states. Those of you who have not had ugly siblings keep you from your dementia mother have no idea how hurtful that was and to this day I do not speak to any of them for that very reason. When I was permitted to see her, I kept her alive longer by feeding her, and when she died, the nursing home called me first even though my sister had power of attorney and she was supposed to have been called first. I then let her know at 5:30 a.m. You cannot break a POA unless the person who signed it rescinds it. Period. AND they have to be competent.
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If a POA takes advantage of their postion, like spending Moms money for themselves, they can be sued.

When working for the Visiting Nurses I had a call from a patients son. He wanted to know if his Mom wrote one of the nurses a check. Since they were all out on rounds I couldn't answer his question. When my boss came backshe called him. He was really accusing our nurses of steeling. My boss called his mother and found out she had a friend take her to the bank to cash a check. Boss called son and told him. Also told him the POA didn't keep his Mom from spending her money. I guess he had gotten strict with her money when she allowed him a POA.
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Vicki I think I understand what you are saying. There are two POA's. One is financial and one is Medical. The Durable POA is the most powerful. I have a responsibility to my partner to assure that his money is protected and invested according to his wishes. I also have a duty to report to his doctor (after discussion with him) that this upset is not good for him. Our home is very peaceful and we like it that way. I refuse to have any relative or friend come in here and upset my partner. Be it on the phone or in person. PERIOD. As long as he is alive and capable he can make any decisions about who enters or exits his home. (including me - if he chooses to change POA's. ). He requires medical assistance and has freely signed all documents with his doctor allowing me information on his care. The Health Care POA gives HIM and I that power.

Trust me, with this family, I might as well prepare for a court room when he passes. I am not looking forward to it. It will cost them a great deal of money. I will not invest any money to defend myself. If the courts find that I was not ethical or morally correct in any of my decisions, that will be fine. I keep excellent journals on his daily care, drugs and nurse visits. I have introduced myself to all of his Investment companies and have made sure that we have in place a back up Trustee in the event that I become ill or die. I am looking out for him if I am not in the picture. Why would anyone take on this job if they could not rely on the POA's. I would be a fool. And, I know right from wrong. I am sure there are bad people out there who would take advantage of any situation, but I keep in mind my faith, my promises to care for my Sweetheart and I also keep his family in mind. In our case, his family has not been nice to him. Why would I ever submit him to this?
I am happy the courts are there for elderly when someone takes advantage of them. But, I know there are a lot of reasons you hear "she won't let me do this or that"...The whole story needs to be heard before you can possibly draw any conclusion. If Power of Attorneys are meant to be broken, what good are they?
Just my opinion.
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