Our family is divided, and I have lost a brother who I always looked up to and loved dearly. Did I do the right thing? - AgingCare.com

Our family is divided, and I have lost a brother who I always looked up to and loved dearly. Did I do the right thing?

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My sibling "mentioned" he had a credit card in my mother's name. I pulled my mother's credit report and almost fell off my chair! He was her durable POA, but she had no idea about this. His response was, "I make the payments". Not the point....I told him if something happened to him, the rest of us siblings wouldn't have known and certainly my mom wouldn't have known why she was getting dozens of credit cards bills in the mail. Also, her home is paid for and he risked her jeopardizing that if something happened to him first. He promised to use mutual funds he had to pay off the debt. Well, he didn't. He tried to get the other sisters and I to sign my mom's house over to him, when that didn't' go over, he took my mom to a lawyer and had her sign bankruptcy for herself! She has dementia and didn't understand what was going on. These credit cards were never used for her...he claimed he used them to sustain her...BS. Her little house was in need of so many repairs and updates it's sad. Long story short, I asked my mother if she wanted me to help my brother take care of business, so a lawyer drafted a new Durable POA and added me, along with my brother. My intent was to work "with" him and have a checks and balances so nothing else would happen. My brother has since been angry with me, hasn't helped do anything with reference to her care. I also became her payee representative and took over her bills, etc. when money became missing. He still takes the road that she wanted him in charge. She did and I never had a problem with it, UNTIL I found out what he was doing. My mom is now in a facility receiving PT for a hip fracture, and her dementia has worsened. Our family is divided, and I have lost a brother who I always looked up to and loved dearly. Did I do the right thing?

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Thanks, sandradawn. Its been hard trying to do what I feel is right for my mom, but going against my brother who I loved dearly.
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I think you did the right thing. Sorry it has caused hard feelings with your brother, but he certainly wasn't looking out for the best interest of your mother. It is sad that someone can do that to their own mother. He took advantage of her. Just do what is right for her and the rest will come together. Good luck.
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Sorry, my question erased apparently above. What would you do if you found out a sibling who was durable POA abused that power by charging over $50,000 in credit card debt to your parent?
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