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My sister has full and complete POA. I want to know from her how much the nursing home costs per month. She won't tell me. Shouldn't the POA have to give an accounting each year to the other principals in the family. I am a full sister and daughter. No step stuff here. I am treated like the next door neighbor. I still think I should get an accounting each year as to how the money is being spent. Your opinion please.

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From the caregiver side for 4 years, my husband of 42 yrs & I are both having health problems. When I am also responsible for everything Mom needs, I just don't have the time or the edges to report all that goes on.
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In my case siblings don't ask, that would mean they would have to call!!!
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Suggest you read this:

My family has issues like the rest of the world; however, when it came to spending Mother's money we all knew where every penny was spent. Like the article says keeping secrets not a good sign and 92% of POAs are misusing funds!
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If she wants control, let her stew in her own pudding. Cook her own goose. Sink her own ship.
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Palm, My sentiments exactly. I don't think it is money that sis is taking, I think it is she wants to be in CONTROL.
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Oh Brandywine I assume this is the same sister who insists on only hearing good reports when you visit your Mom..

From what you've shared here on AC I figure you'll never get your answers..

So sorry Sis is such a pill...
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Brandy, I am in your shoes. When there are secrets, there is trouble. If not abuse of the elders funds, then what is so secretive. It is always best, in my opinion, to show the siblings some respect if you expect the siblings to help out at all. To be keep in the dark, at least to me, makes me feel disrespected. That is just me but I don't see why some POA'S are soooooo secretive unless it is a power play or they have something to hide.
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I have not seen the document. I am kept in the dark.
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Actually a POA is expected to maintain confidentiality, much like any client relationship. A Judge can hold a POA's feet to the fire. If you suspect wrongdoing, report it to the authorities. We do share information with siblings, but in a very general sense, not down to the last penny. Basically, we all know that she will probably outlive her bank accounts.
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As POA she has to abide by the document. Have you seen it? There may or not be instructions in it related to reporting. If there is a trust involved then some sort of reporting is usually required, even if it something as simple as having an open book policy.

Why couldn't you call the nursing home as a potential consumer and just ask them their rates. You could at least get a price range. Depending on your Mom's needs there are usually add on charges. A typical add-on is based on the number of prescriptions she takes.
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