I have POA but I'm afraid to go forward with it.. My father is a very mean man and even worse since he was diagnosed with dementia...what should I do?

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lily I understand where you are coming from, although in my situation I have guardianship over my mom, she has her old check book in her purse, but the bank made a new account with her and my name on it as me as the guardian, I transferred all her meds to the same pharmacy that I use so she thinks I am picking up mine, when she needs depends or other personal things I go to wally world while my husband sits with her so I can buy all the things she needs, cause believe me I have been threw this with her over and over about why I am taking care of her affairs.. And all it does is cause a big seen, that ends up her yelling and cursing me, and degrading me, so I have found it best to take care of all her stuff with out her knowledge, if you could be able to do that, it makes things so much better trust me... :) I hope that this might have helped in some way you are in my thoughts...
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I don't envy you. I wonder if the doctor who diagnosed dementia would be willing to talk to him about this. Perhaps you could send a note, describing what you observe about your father's lapses with handling his money, and ask if the doctor would please suggest that it is time to retire from those tasks. That it isn't his fault but the disease he has makes dealing with financial things very challenging. I don't know if that would help, but it is one thing you could try.

Since your dad has dementia, you are going to have to develop a thick skin, and try not to be embarrassed by his inappropriate public behavior.

Take your POA papers to the bank and talk frankly to a manager. Arrange to have online access to his accounts, so you can monitor what he is doing.

POA obligates you to act in his best interest. If you don't think you can do that (and I wouldn't blame you) is there anyone else who might be able to do it? Would your dad trust that person and give him or her POA?
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yes I need to handle his financial transactions but he holds tightly to his bank books..He insist on paying his bills but make mistakes all the time..he is very suspicious of me me and when I accompany him to the bank, he refuse to let me go to the teller window and create havoc when I do. It embarrases me to no end..Even at dr offices when he has to pay a copay..he refuses to do so..and yells at me causing more embarrasment..
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What is it you think you should do with the POA? For example, have you taken over managing his financial transactions? Do you need to?

Give us a little more detail, please, so answers can be more helpful.
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