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She wants to save his savings for herself and not pay me for caring for my grandfather. how do I make her. it clear in his amendment his money is for his healthcare

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Check the New Mexico rules for Medicare/Medicaid. All care must be first: ordered by his doctor and second: provided by a licensed agency. Nobody is trying to be mean to you, they are just doing what the law says.
Should the POA start paying you, and there are no doctor's orders and there is no legitimate payroll involved, she could end up in jail. Sorry.
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I have to caution you that you're probably going to get screwed by your dad's POA.
The problem is, there is nobody who is going to come to your aide and defend you. Unless your Dad can stand up to the POA and tell the POA to behave, and do this forever, there is literally no way for YOU to tell the POA what is to be done.
That is because the POA is literally all-powerful.
There is a reason they say the POA document is "a license to steal."
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Some questions need to be answered here.

Are you referring to a Durable or Health Care POA, or both? What is the relationship to you and your GF of the person designated to handle his affairs?

To what kind of amendment are you referring? An amended health care POA? What document that addresses funding for his care has been amended?

Did your GF agree to pay you, an if so do you have a contract with him to establish the terms of your payment arrangement?
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Tough one, does she have medicaid or Medicare?
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