I work in a Assisted Living/Memory Care nursing home and we have a few family members who make out menus for the residents. My residents are not eatting what the families are picking out for them to eat but when we assist the resident to pick out what they what to eat and eat that food they families will come in and yell at us for not getting what they picked out.
My question is don't they residents have the right to eat and drink what they want (as long as it's not a doctors order) and can a LPN and RN over ride the POA so the residents can eat the things she what's to eat.
I know there it's medical and financial POA and medical can decide what the patient can and can't eat/drink but I really think it's should be up to the resident to decided what they want.
You as an employee can't make this decision. The Administrator or Nurse needs to get involved. In MC what does it matter what they eat. The Administrator needs to tell family that the guidlines they set the aides do try to comply to but the family member will not eat what the family suggests. They can't force the food on the resident and they can't allow them to starve.
I have tried for years to like broccoli. At 74 I still don't like it, I would hope my DDs are aware of this and do not tell a facility to force it on me. Thats maybe part of the problem, family members have no idea what LO likes or don't like.
There was a man in Moms AL who loved choc chip cookies. I was always going to McDonalds and asked the staff if it was OK to bring him some, they said yes. So when I bought a pkg of 3, I ate one and he got the other two.
Try to speak with the family and explain that age changes tastes and calories are the most important factor at this stage of the game. Make sure they see the logs about what she is or isn't eating, I assume your facility requires a log on what % of the meal is being consumed, if not, maybe start one to prove food they choose isn't being eaten and what the resident is choosing is being eaten.
Thank you for caring about the human beings in your care. May The Lord bless you for your work.
I agree with Geaton that this is something you need to discuss with your Administration. If a family member/POA is taking all the trouble (and it's a LOT of trouble) to come in to do menus then I suspect there is very good reason for it. I would encourage family to do the menus WITH their loved ones, instead of FOR their loved ones. A good way to have something to talk about during the visit.
My brother was in ALF and I have not seen these problems occur, and would think that it must be a rather rare happenstance?
If you feel you are able to approach family with ease, and they seem receptive, you can discuss with them their elder's preferences as they are made known round the table. I would back off quickly if they are not receptive, or seem resentful.
You will need to ask your superiors what the policy of the facility is. In my state they could not withhold my MIL's dessert until she ate other things on her tray: this is withholding food. It's a stupid rule.
When my kids were little and went to private school, the lunch staff had "back-up" PBJs or cheese sandwiches for when the kids wouldn't eat the hot lunch that day. Can you do something like this, after their original menu food is offered then refused? But you'd have to be highly aware that you shouldn't offer it to residents who are on speciliazed diets. This would create a liability risk for both you and the facility.
My step-mother is in MC, age 85, my mother in AL age 98, 99 in Feb. They eat whatever they want, no menu planning on my part. I want them to continue to enjoy eating at their age what difference does it make? To me, none.
Some must control others lives. I agree with you, although I do not know what the answer is, unless you try and talk to these family members, eating is important, maybe you can approach from that platform.