Post #StayAtHome activities for Senior Mom. How would it be best to keep family discussions in a positive realm moving forward?

I think you have to recognize that we really cannot keep discussions in a positive realm when there is a senior with some lost faculties who is unhappy is involved. You may have to reconsider your ability to do inhome care indefinitely. Your children are moving on and moving out. This is some of the most free years you and your husband will have in your life. I treasure my memories of these years with the travel, with the designing and building of a small second home, the chopping wood, and watching wildlife. We are now going into our 80s. I would not have missed that two decades for anything on earth.
We have a right to our own lives. These are the life passages for us all. It would literally break me to think that my daughters would give up their lives to care for me, whether that care made me "happy" or not.
Please consider what you can/are willing to do move forward, what you want for this your one and only life. The choice must be yours. Consider counseling for yourself and your husband. Give up trying to change someone else in your household who either cannot or will not change, and whose change will not change the fact that you are choosing her over living your own life. Only you can decide and I wish you and your husband so much luck going forward.

I hope you’ll encourage mom to get out more, maybe a senior citizen center in the community with people and activities would give her better things to fill her time. Don’t get into discussions, about family or anything else, that bring up negativity. It’s an endless loop that resolves nothing, so don’t go there. When she starts tell her you’re not talking about it and change the subject. If it persists with hang up or leave. We all teach others what we will and won’t tolerate. My dad was big in watching news, it never led him anywhere positive. I hope your mom will give something else a chance and you’ll refuse the rabbit hole of negativity

Avoid family discussions entirely, that's what I do. My mother doesn't have ONE nice or decent word to say about ANY family member and we have LOTS of them. The only person that gets a thumbs up from her is my son, who does almost nothing for her. The sun rises & sets on him, he's the golden child. He took his new son (her first great grandchild) to meet mom on Sunday and he apologized for never going over to see her, saying it was his fault. She said, "You can never do anything wrong in my eyes." And she meant it. Meanwhile, all the rest of the family members can never do anything RIGHT. Therefore, if she brings them up, I change the subject. Or I tell her to hang up the phone if one of the hated nieces call. You've already said your mother gets agitated when asked about her family..........that says it all right there! My mother is similar; keeps no photos and wants none, either..........has no interest in any family matters.

There are just some things that can never be put into a positive light when dealing with negative Nellies. If your mother is only willing to watch news shows on tv, that says a lot right there! News these days puts a happy person into a bad mood! When my mother tells me about a 'news' item she hears or reads, I tell her to watch a comedy or something to make her SMILE on the tv set. But then again, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Stop trying so hard to make your mom into a positive person when it comes to the family. Just don't talk about them, that's your best bet!