I followed this group as my mother went from home care to AL to skilled care to memory care. Many questions and situations posted I was going through too. It was very helpful knowing I was not alone.
Dad had passed September 2012, prior to mom passing in November 2022.
Most days I’m ok as mom prepared my sisters and I that she knew what was to come. We had many talks and remembering things was so sweet.
I had several times with her alone and we talked.
Usually my sister who lives close by (my other sister is in another state) would go with me. We supported each other!
With both parents.
I would update my sister out of state and talk when needing to. She was helping her daughter at the time and would come to visit when able.
Now I find little things will make me sad at times. Triggering memories. They do pass after I have a few minutes.
I decided to follow the group again.
Perhaps others go through this as well.
I’ll call it grieving for now.
My daughter is 62 and I am 82 this year. Just a few weeks ago I had the visitation of a nifty little triple negative breast cancer. My last bout with cancer was 35 years ago when my daughter was just raised up and on her own out of the house. Then she looked at me and said "I can't lose you; I am not ready. Now she's 62. And we are SOOOO close. She lives in Washington State where I stay a month with her every year, combing her beaches, carrying up rocks. She says she had to stop the car on the way home from work last week, started crying-- wondering and imagining how COULD she go on without me coming to comb that beach. How COULD she face it without me, that beautiful still watered Sound.
I laughed and said "I will HAUNT you on that beach. I will HAUNT you and point out rocks."
This is life. It is different losing them than we thought. And for each of us it is an individual journey. But it is inevitable. Interestingly the DSM-5 has included a new diagnosis. It is "prolonged grieving". So there's better medical coverage now for those struggling after a long time.
Welcome. Hope you stick around as your wisdom, learned the long slow way is valuable to others. You can make a difference.
Welcome back!
Wishing you peace as you travel through this grieving process.
If you didn't love your parents, you wouldn't still occasionally grief them.
My late husband has been dead for 3 1/2 years now and just the other day my daughter was telling me about a dream(that was very real to her)that she had about my husband her step dad. And by the time she was done, we were both crying.
So yes, those we have loved and lost, we will on occasion get teary eyed over and then continue to move forward, because they wouldn't want it any other way.