Well, just when I thought I had my father set up in a new routine that gave him some independence and me more freedom, I was sadly mistaken. My father is 87 asthmatic, COPD, legally blind in one eye, profound cataracts in both, deaf, arthritic and unbalanced (walks with a cane). I should mention that he has a drinking issue as well. Up until last year he was still driving (he shouldn't have been 9 accidents in 3 years, but I couldn't convince him), In August, he fell and was hospitalized for two weeks with bleeding in the brain. He healed up, but the fall made his vision even worse and he now has developed macular degeneration. I took this opportunity to finally take the keys away. Over this year, he refused alternate transportation and has made my life a living hell. He lives with me, my husband and two teenage sons. He ranted and tantrumed all year about getting his car back. I have stood my ground. He finally has begun going out with a car service I found that he can rent hourly to do his little errands and regain some independence. Today, he visited a mechanic and told them he lost his car keys and would like a new set made. He is determined to get his car back. He even told them to come tow the car to do the work. I have made it clear that he cannot drive and live in my house. I told him he would have to move to assisted living if he keeps this up and that it is $2500/month. He balked that he can't afford that and will find some other apartment. He thinks he can live independently. He cannot. I clean for him, do his laundry, take him food shopping, carry in his groceries, cook for him, take him to the doctor, make all his calls, etc.. He is essentially deaf and blind. However, the DMV will not revoke his license without the doctor's say so and none of his doctors wants to get involved for fear of lawsuits. My husband has had enough. My kids resent the turmoil in the house. My brothers support me from afar with no real hands on assistance. By the way, I contacted the shop he went to and luckily, they realized that he was in no way capable of driving and appeased him by letting him talk, but had no intention of making him a new key. Thank goodness they were perceptive enough to make the right decision. However, physically getting rid of the car is not a solution either. He is financially able to purchase another. The dealer would contact the insurance company and secure plates with the DMV so he could complete the transaction without me. I need for him to realize and accept his new version of independence. I really don't understand it. He can come and go as he pleases with the car service. Is it really that important for him to be the driver of the car! I live in fear of him eventually leaving and driving again because he has no one but me in the world and will always drive around and stalk both me and my family just to see what we are doing etc. I am so afraid that he will hurt himself, someone else or worse yet one of us while behind the wheel. Any ideas would be helpful. I feel a myriad of feelings, guilt, resentment, fear. I don't think I would forgive myself if an innocent person gets hurt or killed because I had enough and couldn't stand my ground some more. HELP!