I don't know where to start. I am a 39 yr old, only daughter of my mother. She has no other family. I have bipolar. I have my own coping strategies for my life, however, I am having an extremely difficult time managing my mom's life also. I don't know how to explain this in a short summary, but I will try my best!
My father passed away Dec 2017. I was so, so close to my dad.
My mom had normal grieving symptoms.
Around April of 2018 she was a victim of a Jamaican scam and sent a check for $48000. She was promised 3.5 mil and a car. The police recovered the check, we thought it was resolved and my mom assured us it was.
Some of her bills were not paid which resulted in her electricity being disrupted as well as her internet. She blamed the storms, I suspected nothing.
Around July 2018 I received a call from her financial adviser that my mom had withdrawn well over $225000 and he was very concerned about her well being. (I was wondering why it wasn't concerning before $225000, but my mom lied about what she was using it for. My mom has never been known to lie) From there I started looking into all of this and found horror everywhere I turned. Her bank accounts completely wiped out, title loans on her NEW car, lies everywhere.
At this same time, her house had become a war zone. (At this time, she didn't want us to come over) She had a dog she didn't want to rehome (a completely untrained German Sheppard) And with the electric going off every month for a couple of days at a time- you can imagine what I found in her refrigerators. (we did rehome the sweet big boy and got her a much smaller furry friend) Huge piles of papers in all areas of her house, bottles crowded her counters, random things all over her floors- not as bad as a hoarders episode but definitely could head that way if I hadn't found it when I did.
So- When I learned of all of this, there was so much I had to process and so many institutions I was talking to. Police, doctors, people my mom owed money to- My parents never, ever had money issues.
I didn't have ANY idea my mothers mind was declining. It doesn't help that we had never really been that close. But she's my mom. And she was my dad's wife for well over 40 years.
Anyways, My mom is still engaging in this behavior. I am trying to figure out how to live with her. In our current situation her house is too small for my family and my house doesn't have room to accommodate her comfortably (for her sake).
Noteworthy is the fact that because she has given these people so much money- The guy she deals with sends people to my moms door if she doesn't answer his phone call. So there have been many people at my moms front door. I have my phone connected to her door cam and I have seen people try her door to see if its locked, and have also heard them say "Her back door is locked" to the scammer guy on the phone.
So, to say I am concerned for her safety is an understatement.
Sorry this is so random, but I just don't know.
Has mom been diagnosed with dementia? What level of care does her doctor advise? I dont see how moving in with her or vice versa would help. Mom needs total supervision and activities to distract her. Have you checked into Assisted Living or Memeory Care?
Do you have POA for finances? Have you been able to cut off her access to money and credit?
In your heading you mentioned Publisher Clearing House. I had that problem in spades. I worked tirelessly to end the relationship. I insisted on speaking to a higher up. I agreed to pay them for a few items but not all. I emphatically stated that they were taking advantage of an elderly person who was slowly losing her mental faculties. I told them after I paid them for certain agreed upon items I wanted her name removed from their list and her account deleted for life. It took a number of calls but I was finally able to achieve this. I know of other situations with this company. They are vultures. I would try to hopefully do something similar or there will be items showing up forever. There were items I refused to pay for and they wrote them off after I said I was happy to return them at their expense with them sending a pre paid postage label. Most companies do not want the bother or expense of doing this. In reality the product is not worth the postage to return it.
They have told her that they will be coming to delver her prize about 10 times now, between April and currently. and currently meaning they are supposed to be by today. -_- Every time they tell her they are going to deliver her prize, there is some other reason for an additional check that she needs to give them before they can deliver.