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Hi all.


Just more of a 'sharing' type post. So my mom has that habit of taking anything lying around and hiding it somewhere creative (pillow case anyone?) so with time, my room with a lock has basically become a storage room for everything. The house almost feels uninhabited as there's nothing around other than furniture. I know that sounds like a silly little thing, but decorations, picture frames etc makes it feel more like home. But anyways.. As of late, she's becoming more creative with trying to find things to take...for example taking off the bed sheet! And then she thinks everything is hers, and lately there's been an obsession with my laptop, mind you she's never had one or know how to work it, but suddenly it's hers. I work from home and take care of her full time. So I might get up to go to the bathroom and came back to find the laptop has disappeared. Then she's super possessive, like if I touch anything that's hers or she thinks it's hers, she gets all "that's mine" agitation.


I know that this is a common part of dementia and definitely not the worst part, but gosh is it frustrating especially considering it is 180degrees from her actual personality and I genuinely don't get it.


Just wondering if you can share your related stories, how you deal, any tips and tricks you've picked up?

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Imho, her mind is now reverting to a childlike persona as it is broken. Prayers and hugs sent to you.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Seems she has forgotten how to share - like they child who claims all the toys are hers. She may have suffered from lack earlier in her life or not having anything that was truly hers. Anyway, I agree that she should have things she can take care of, and leave out a few things that are "yours" (nothing valuable or highly neccessary) to remind her that you are allowed to "own" things too.
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Reply to Taarna
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Sounds like a message that it is time for mom to have her own place to live in an appropriate assisted living/memory care facility.
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Reply to careinhome
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My MIL did this, too. She took everything from my bloodwork script that was hanging on the fridge to my husband’s car keys. We still don’t know where she put everything, including some of her jewelry. And it was always a fight to get them back when we did find them.

We would find items hidden in her bathroom, the closet, under her bed, in the nightstand, and truthfully, I’m still finding things that she had hidden all over the house. Several forks and spoons were resting in her nightstand drawer. Although I’m still missing one of my bathing suits LOL.

All I can advise is to have patience and try to deal with it as gracefully as possible. Good luck and peace to you both.
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Reply to Febyshe
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My mother gets possessive with things. She thinks my mask is hers especially, if it has pretty colors, but mostly the stuff is hers and she does not want anyone to take it. Shoes and her purse are the major items she is possessive about. Your situation seems extreme. I do not think I would have the patience hiding everything, but I understand the need. I find my mom gets more possessive than usual when she has a start of UTI.
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Reply to earlybird
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Is there a job you can give Mum? Folding towels, matching socks etc?

It may work as a distraction.
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Reply to Tothill
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I think it's terrible what's happening in your home with what your mother is doing. Very hard to live like that, so don't minimize your pain at all, okay? There is NOTHING good or 'easy' about living with a person afflicted with dementia, that is the 100% truth and I commend you and admire you for the strength you DO have by caring for her.

That said, why not create a bag of 'stuff' to set out around the house that your mother can 'steal' or 'borrow' or whatever she wants to call it, and hide away in her room to call her own? You can then go into her room that night, collect the stuff back into the bag, put it out again and start the whole 'game' over again the next day. Dementia loves repetition. Doesn't matter that you're putting out the same stuff and she's snatching up the same stuff..............just that she's repeating the motion that brings her comfort.

As far as your personal laptop and other belongings go, you'll have to devise a lock for your door to be used every single time you leave the room, even to use the bathroom. It may be a pain to get used to at first, but think of the aggravation you will save yourself in the long run.

Good luck!
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Reply to lealonnie1
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jacobsonbob Jul 8, 2020
Excellent idea! Perhaps a bagful of dollar store toys would be ideal for this!
(1)
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They get like small children, they don't want to share. And like children, you have to make it child safe. If she was in a NH she would probably be that resident who stole from other residents. Going from room to room.😊 Guess ur going to have to take the laptop with you or put it somewhere high up.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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jacobsonbob Jul 8, 2020
She would be like the one I described a couple days ago who threw away another resident's dentures!
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