POA, What can I do to help my mother?

As the others have said, visiting your mom as much as you possibly can is probably the BEST thing you can do for her. Holding her hand & telling her how much you love her will likely be more comforting to her than anything else in the world. Kissing her cheek & stroking her hair will make BOTH of you feel good, and your brother will have no power to stop you from doing that.
Sending you a big hug & lots of prayers that things work out the way you'd like them to.

How often do you visit your mom?

I would encourage you to try and support your brother and his decisions about mom and her care, get involved and see mom daily to ensure that she is getting the best care available. You can be a helping, loving daughter and advocate for her until the time is right for her to be able to go home.

It is difficult when one sibling is making decisions, it is equally difficult to be the one making those decisions, mom assigned your brother POA, honor her decision with support or at least no criticism. Be there for mom and let the other situation with your brother go for now.

Being power of attorney is a difficult job, and having both of you as dual powers of attorney would be a nightmare, given you do not seem to get along. The truth is, without offering all the support you can as in "What can I do to help" I think that you will get nowhere. You will be ignored and he will do what he thinks is best without consulting you if the animosity between you two continues. I am so sorry for all the grief and pain, but your brother and you not getting along will distress your mother more than you can imagine at this, the end of her life. She is ill and almost certainly dying. Try to be supportive to her and to one another would be my advice. You will attract more bees with flowers, and more honey will be the result. No end to fighting means no end to pain, and the loss of your Mom is pain enough. Sometimes I think we fight because it is so much easier to be angry than to be simply very hurt inside. Your Mom apparently chose who she wanted to give the POA to. It is not an easy job. Visit your Mom as often as you can, as sadly it can be true that the best care is given to those who have supportive family in the foreground. Wishing you good luck in this unhappy time.

Shanell,

I'm sorry that your brother has taken over your mom's life with his Power of Attorney. I never understand when someone gets POA and the person becomes drunk with power. It's pathetic.

I understand you wanting to get your mom out of the nursing home but that might have to be a longer term goal. A more immediate goal might be to be able to see your mom. Then to see her on a regular basis. See how all of that goes with your brother lording over your mom. If it becomes possible for you to see your mom it might be a bumpy road with your brother so plans to get your mom out of the nursing home might have to wait a while.

I would suggest you consult with an attorney yourself. A POA doesn't typically give someone the legal right to exercise control over a person's personal relationships. In other words, your brother's POA over your mom can't legally stop you from seeing your mom. However, nursing homes generally won't get involved in family disputes and if the POA of one of their residents doesn't want specific people visiting, the nursing home will likely go along with that.

If your goal is to see your mom, try approaching your brother in an email and expressing to him that you'd like to see her. Try not to fight with him about it. While that may be satisfying it won't get you want you want which is to see your mom.

Try to re-connect with your mom by visiting and calling her and then revisit the idea of taking her out of the nursing home. In the meantime you can come up with a plan of how you'll be able to care for her on your own if you do succeed in getting her out of the nursing home. If you find that your brother continues to be an obstacle to seeing your mom, send her cards and letters to let her know you're thinking of her.