I currently am in a situation where I assist my parents (who live in their own home) when I can, my Dad is 80 years old and has a severe case of asbestosis and is on oxygen and has also lost a lot of mobility. My Mom rarely gets dressed during the day and sits around in pajamas, same with Dad. I understand comfort but they both appear to be pretty depressed (yes, both are on medication for it, Dad also for anxiety).
Things I worry about:
1) Dad goes way too long without using his oxygen during the daytime, sometimes until he hallucinates or can't breathe well, simply because of denial that anything is wrong with him. I am afraid that he will fall as he has in the past because of this behavior and really hurt himself.
2) Dad also spends most of each day trying to figure out how to either spend the money that they have each month or takes big amounts at a time out of the ATM (by sending grandchildren) such as $750.00 for no reason other than he wants in in his possession. This often depletes the checking account to as little as $30 and Mom has sent out checks for bills on this money. He continually gets on the telephone and opens new credit accounts putting them further in debt. He also refuses to pay extra on the mortgage to pay it down. This behavior is going to put Mom in severe financial crisis after Dad passes because his monthly pay consists of VA disability & military retirement which both disappear at that point. She will get some survivor benefits that he has paid into but he thinks it will be enough and it won't. He also told me that "one of us can take care of her".
3) Mom refuses to start a savings account in her name to help offset any future expenses. I brought this up to her in April of 2017 and she still won't do it. She won't do much of anything to help herself.
4) Mom won't cook meals (my daughter currently helps with this as she is living there but she won't be there forever and she does work) or go shopping. She won't even make a grocery list. It's like she just gave up on everything. I fear that if or when my daughter moves out my parents will get malnutrition. Both parents would rather eat sweets like cake and donuts or quick snack food.
5) Dad sits down cellar and smokes which is where his oxygen cylinders are stored until he needs them. I consider this dangerous and that he is putting all of them at risk. He refuses to go sit on the back porch. (Yes, we all know with asbestosis that he shouldn't smoke but he still does.)
I could go on but won't.
Are any of these issues enough to be able to get POA to help them from spiraling down? Or should I just let it go?