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Dad is nearing the end and is reversing a LOT of decisions that he made a few months ago and it has caused a “train wreck.” ... When confronted he replies what? I can’t change my mind?

In my understanding, to create a Durable POA or a Health Care POA, the person doing the creating must be competent. There is even language in many of those documents stating the creator attests to being "in sound mind." If the person has dementia, they may be legally incapable of creating a POA. Then, to my understanding, a court will have to appoint someone to perform those duties.

My parent's POA's were "activated" after their MD and a second MD familiar with their situation signed off that they were no longer capable of making decisions for themselves. Dad was terminal and mostly asleep. Mom has dementia. The "activation" was simple. But the general durable POA and the POA for health care were completed long before they were needed, and done by their attorney.
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Reply to BBS2019
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He's 86 and has dementia. How is he "changing" things? Is he making phone calls to the lawyer or bank or financial professional? Take away access to the phone. Is he crossing out and rewriting on the paper document itself? Then he just invalidated the entire document anyway. It's possible he never really understood how the POA works in the first place, even before he had dementia--he thinks it's like a "Will" and he can change it at anytime. Well, guess what, you can't do that with a Will either--it must be witnessed and signed each time a change is made. He should not be having any communication with any type of financial, legal, or medical professional--all communication should be through you or whoever is named agent. Most professionals will understand this situation--family members are the more likely ones to object if there are disagreements about his care, his money.
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Reply to Beekee
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POA doesn't mean that you get to override what they say, it only means you can act on their behalf if they can't. To be able to "control" your dads actions or override his decisions, you would have to prove him incompetent in a court of law and assume guardianship. 

We are struggling with this too.  My mom, before dementia, said she didn't want an open casket funeral...she wanted to be cremated.  We actually fought about this.  I told her "no one in our family gets cremated!".  She said if you won't honor my wishes, I will get someone else to handle my affairs.  So I agreed to do what she wanted.   Now fast forward 10 years..she now has dementia and is now telling me she doesn't want to be cremated and when I showed shock and asked why, she said she changed her mind.  Do I abide by my moms wishes when she was in her right mind or now? 

AND My 98 yr old MIL keeps changing her will.  We have stopped telling her if we buy anything or go anywhere because she thinks you are "well off" and no longer need an inheritance.  WTH!  I know it's crazy.
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Reply to Jamesj
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I see from your profile that your dad is 83 and has alzheimer's / dementia. What stage is he? Does the doctor who diagnosed him know what you have told us that he is doing? I think the doctor who diagnosed him needs to see him again and this time test him for competence. You can share this information and your request for an evaluation directly with the doctor privately even if you don't have medical POA.

Who has the POA, you or your brother? Does he have both durable and medical POA? Why don't you have the POA since you are the caregiver?

That and understanding the wording of the POA, even if it means seeing a lawyer is what you need to do.
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Reply to NoTryDoYoda
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Best to hire an elder law attorney. A POA does not negate your dad's wishes.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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He needs to Make you at Least Health Proxy.
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Reply to Parise
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A POA is primarily a principal naming someone to act in their stead following their directions or desires. It can go into effect as soon as it is signed or it can "spring" on some condition. It can be limited in time frame or in actions the POA is authorized to execute. Most POA documents do not allow a POA to override the principal's decision unless there is a documented incapacity, and how the incapacity needs to be documented is usually stated in the POA document and/or by state law.

As someone else has already advised, read your POA and ask for legal help if there's any legal language you don't understand.
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Reply to TNtechie
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All the answers here could be right (more or less), depending on how the POA is worded. Get it out and read it. If you can’t understand it, get some legal advice. If you want more comments here, please say how it is worded. It would also help if you could say what decisions your father is reversing, and how. This would give at least some idea about his mental state, and what you should do about it.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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POA can be invoke anytime as long as the person is still alive. Once he passes the POA is no longer valid. Make sure the POA you have is a Durable POA. You can get the form to fill outline if an attorney is not affordable. Check out The POA can Online with Legal Zone. You can also contact them with questions or explain what you think you need and they can help lead you in the right direction. We did the POA through Legal Zone for my mom and dad. If the changes he is making are not good decisions, you have the right with the POA to have them changed back. Don't tell him that you changed them back, he will never know. You can sign the paperwork as the POA.
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Reply to Sandyinstl
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Make sure that you get a Durable POA.
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Reply to Judy79
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Is POA written to give you authority when he is incapable to make decisions (as in can't talk, in a coma....) or is deemed incompetent to make prudent decisions (as in dementia, strokes, metal illness...). If it is the latter, you can use it to undo his decision-making. It would be wisest to have doctor declare him incompetent, then notify those dad does business with about the change in his "health". Please give dad some decision-making abilities and allow him to have a gift card "credit card" with a certain amount of money loaded onto it for his spending.
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Reply to Taarna
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Judy79 Dec 24, 2019
Wish that my brother would have seen this about the "credit card" for my mom. Of course, she doesn't drive anymore but that doesn't matter,right? I was told that they facility where she is now, would be able to take her to the dollar tree, if she wanted to go. But not sure if they will still be able to do that now.
She doesn't make any decisions about anything now. My brother has pretty much taken over. In a good and caring way.
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POA doesn't negate your Dad's wishes. The POA is there to carry OUT his wishes, in fact. To the best of their ability. Now, if Dad has severe dementia and is incapable of making decisions, or cannot remember decisions he made, then that is another thing. Afraid we need more info here.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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You can "invoke" it whenever you feel like it. The problem is if someone challenges you on it. Depending on how the POA is written, you may have to show impairment. Contrary to what many people think, impairment is not a requirement for POA. The POA can be written so that it's effective even if someone is perfectly competent. A POA allows someone to act as the representative for another. You don't need to be incompetent to have an attorney.

Which brings up the crux of the issue. A POA doesn't give someone the ability to override the wishes of the grantor. A POA acts on the behalf of the grantor. If you want to go against your Dad's decisions you'll need to seek guardianship.
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Reply to needtowashhair
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Countrymouse Dec 20, 2019
That second paragraph is not true of a Durable POA, Need. The whole point of the "Durable" part is that the authority given to you continues even once the person is incompetent, and from then you can override the person's wishes if those wishes are contrary to the person's best interests.
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If he is the one with Dementia your POA, if springing, becomes into effect once he is formally diagnosed. Get a letter from his doctor.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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worriedinCali Dec 20, 2019
but POA doesn’t give the OP the right to go against the OPs father’s wishes! He doesn’t get to overrule his dad and do what HE/OP wants!
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