Hello, my mother who is 91 had a nervous breakdown because she could not deal with my medical issues. I am 66. After seven months of treatment, including a hospital stay and intensive outpatient treatment, drugs and still in therapy, she is not any better. Because I was blamed for her breakdown (she is worried about my health issues), they would not allow me to speak to her for two months and now our relationship barely exists. We were very close and I am her sole financial support for her living in a large home which is not fit for a 91 year old. I have not been included in her care, and have not seen her since her breakdown.
I want an independent eldercare manager to assess her and her living conditions but without her consent, it can't be done. I am her power of attorney, her health care advocate and feel she still needs help and the therapist she sees will not really share anything with me. I am at a loss what to do to ensure she gets better or additional help and my mom keeps telling me she can't see me until she fells like herself again. Given they blame her worrying about me as the reason for her breakdown, I feel like I am between a rock and hard place and do not know how to find out what is really going on with my mom and what if any rights I have as her daughter and POA. She can't make any decisions regarding her living situation, won't see me, is not feeling any less anxious, and yet the therapist tells me she is not incompetent. When I ask the therapist to please advocate for my mom to meet an elder care manager to make sure she is safe and provide options for her care, the therapist just says I WILL MENTION IT TO HER. I am at a loss how to find out how she really is and what to do to. I do not know if I have any legal rights since the therapist says she is not incompetent. I love my mom and want to help her get better