I've been living with mom since dad passed in October 2016. She's 80 years old, I'm 60. I have 2 brothers but as we well know when you are the only daughter, with grown children and you're divorced it's assumed you'll step in. When I moved in it was because she was lonely, as time progressed (3 months) I realized she was starting the slow decline into dementia. I could see the signs since dad suffered from Alzheimer's . Fast forward to 6 months ago, I knew we were on borrowed time with her needing 24/7 supervision and made my brothers aware that I was willing to leave my job to care for her.
I was a paid caregiver (second job) for an agency when my girls were in middle/high school, did it for 6-7 years so I knew what I was getting into. The job I just left was as a substitute teacher, I worked 175 of 180 school days, in a high paying school district. From the get go I made them aware that I would be paid, I've been on this site long enough to know all there is to this ride: loss of retirement, not paying into Medicare, lack of personal time and spontaneity, frustrations of a broken brain, etc. As of last Friday I became mom's full time caregiver. Let me add that at this time her care needs include everything except toileting and feeding, with my help she can still dress/bath herself but needs reminders to do everything else. Memory is gone but she is happy and agreeable. I believe mom is in the moderate stage of this horrible disease and am aware that her overall health is good and she could easily live another 6 years if not 10. That being said, her financials put her at around a million dollars. She would pay me my previous pretax income of $750 a week. Am I expecting too much to be compensated for the income I gave up to keep her at home and happy? The questioning brother says, "What about room and board and that you didn't work in the summer." The other brothers says pay yourself whatever it takes to keep her home plus overtime for the weekends, says he couldn't live with her! I am the financial and medical POA and executor when she passes. I'm aware of the parent/child gifting limit and medicaid look back. My calculations show her having more than enough should she need to put in a facility (brother's reasonable concern). She has income of $35,000 a year and house could be rented for $2,000 a month.