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Please dont call me again and ask me to pay 21 dollars an hour for a sitter. Thank you. We can't pay. I clicked on FREE help

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Next time they call you tell them you'd be glad for them to help but you can't pay them anything. I would assume they'd get the message and stop calling.

In all seriousness though, I think its time for you to relinquish care to the state. Call APS yourself if you have to or keep calling 911 if needed and make yourself scarce. If you've reached your limit you need to blow the whole thing up before you blow up yourself. There are other ways around it.
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Have you tried Catholic Charities? I get 5 hrs per day for 5 days home care services for my husband.
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The 5 (I thought it was 6) year look back is serious. If you're going to gift your money away so that you can get Medicaid benefits, you better gift it to someone who can and will financially help you if your health declines before the look back period ends. Go back to the person who received her money and ask for assistance? If you attend a church, they may be able to assist you. Do you have a friend, that you trust, that may swap sitting services for using your car or living with you?
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I am so sorry that you have this horrible situation. Your profile says that you are suicidal. Please call the suicide hotline for help.

Can you contact a social worker to help with your mom’s situation? Suicide is not the answer to your dilemma.

I’m so sorry that you are struggling financially. There are other people on this forum that have more experience than I have with your situation. They will help you.

Pray if you are a woman of faith. Please reach out for help. You are not alone. I just said a special prayer for you. I care and I know others on this forum care too.
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Steph, I understand where you are now. Like you, there was not enough $ to pay someone so much an hour. Thank goodness, I have a husband to help me, WHEN he is home. But, for years he has taught night classes, 5 nights a week, getting home after 11 at night. My dad (this was a phrase he went through)would slide out of his wheelchair (and giggle) quite often & I could not pick him up. After many, many tears, I asked someone that I trusted(and needed a place) to move in for less than market rate to help me or be on-call in the evenings. That worked for almost 3 yrs. Now, I have a ceiling lift that allows me to lift him in his chair/toilet/bed. Your post reminded me of those "frustrated" times.
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Agingcare is owned by A Place for Mom. If you enter your information on this site requesting referrals, APFM will call you.

Call your Area Agency on Aging they can help you find the assistance you need.
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needtowashhair Feb 2020
Yes it is. Some people though, seem to be incensed that a company dare use information submitted on it's own website.
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A place for mom will call and harass you unless they tell you to stop. Some of the “expert” responders here were apparently being paid to advertise APFM and they were telling people here to call a certain phone number but they weren’t mentioning that it was APFM. It was misleading and unethical IMO. I called the number to see what it was before voicing a complaint about the spam, and it ended up being APFM. I hung up immediately and guess what? They log your phone number and they started calling me every hour! So I bet that’s what has happened to the OP. She called them and declined their services and now they won’t stop calling.
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needtowashhair Feb 2020
Ah... you're on one of the A Place for Mom's websites.
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It is probably A Place for Mom and my experience with them was awful. I would never encourage anyone to use them, even if they provided free care.

Ignorant and rude beyond measure.
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needtowashhair Feb 2020
AgingCare is A Place for Mom.
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Tell us more about your situation. Don’t give up. Everything is temporary. Each life is valuable!! What is going on?
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Its not Aging Care that is calling. The site can only give you info on what is in your area. This is the forum of Caregivers.

So sorry you are having so many problems. Transferring her property was what is holding up Medicaid. There is a penalty time depending on the Market Value of the property. Medicare does not pay for Assisted livings or homecare longterm. Its a health insurance. Medicaid usually doesn't pay for Assisted Living or Senior living. Some States do have waivers. Basically, though, only LTC facilities. Your free help would be thru Medicaid. Office of Aging may be able to help.

Could her ex transfer the property back to her name? Then put it up for sale. In the meantime Medicaid may pay for her care in LTC. Once property is sold, the money can be used towards her care.
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Steph,
The website offers free referrals of assistance but the requested assistance is not free. I took the liberty to read your profile and I am so very sorry for the situation you are in with your mom. Please don’t give up on this forum. There are a lot of caregivers who have been through heck and can offer valuable advice. Tell us a little more about what’s going on and I’m certain people will reach out to you.
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