How to pick mom up in a safe position for her and me? - AgingCare.com

How to pick mom up in a safe position for her and me?

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I have a bad low back. We are moving mom this week to our home, We are flying a 2 hour flight, early morning. I know she is nervous about moving. My sister and I have cared for mom for the past 4 years every other month. She still knows things only in the moment. I don't want to overwhelm her. I approach every in life with love and confidence, that doesn't mean that I should expect others to respond in the same fashion. I guess I am needing some reassurance from others who have already been through, what we are getting ready to do. Thank you for your support.

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Everyone who advised against lifting her really is telling the truth here, because yes, your back really will suffer sooner or later.
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Don't lift her. Let her do most of the work. This is my role with my mother. Sometimes I had to pick her up off the floor, but my back always suffered. If she falls, call 911. They will come pick her up off the floor. I lost my mother in January of this year, and I encouraged her to use her walker and to let me push her in the wheel chair. I seldom had to lift her. It's amazing how much an elderly frail person can do for themselves.
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Thanklessjob is right on this one, it confirms what I was also saying about not lifting if you already have a bad back. Back injuries can at some point put you in a wheelchair, I use one myself due to old injury related arthritis. Anytime you've ever injured your back bad enough, I know from experience that later in life you will start having problems. Sometimes you can have problems even after the injury is freshly healed, and you can still have problems throughout the rest of your life. At some point, you won't be able to walk without pain, I can't! On my good days, I feel a slight discomfort during a walk, only to feel the sharp burning when I go to sit down and reposition my spine. It takes me quite a while to overcome this kind of pain. On my bad days, I actually feel the pain during the walk, and on my absolute worst days I have not made it out of bed. I'm telling you, when you get arthritis in your back, you never get rid of it because it never goes away. I'm not confined to the wheelchair, but I do use it quite a bit. If I'm going to be walking very far or be on my feet very long and need to navigate, I will use my chair. Another alternative to the chair is only doing a very little bit at a time and then sitting down. I just can't be on my feet long or walk far without low back pain. Are used to be able to walk much further and be on my feet much longer than I can now, all because of an old back injury that has developed into arthritis probably from the very start since I was in bed with that back injury for four months straight
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Candyce,
You say you have been taking turns being the c/g for your mom every other month. How did you handle her (and your back) when you were at her home? Did you have help there and won't at your house?
I have been a nurse for 37 years and I've had my share of back problems from heavy or incapacitated patients. I have slipped and crumbling discs and a bad sacroiliac joint. I recently had to quit working for a lady who became immobile. I was lifting her out of bed, into the w/c, onto the toilet, into my car, etc. I was calling off work about once a month and finally my job wanted a doctor's note to return to work. The doc wouldn't give it to me. Why? Because pain is a symptom of a bad situation. It means something is WRONG. Please remember NOT to use any part of your body that is ALREADY in pain.
That said, please get a clearance from your doctor or whoever is medically treating your back problem. If they clear you to move your mom, ask for a physical therapy evaluation. If THEY clear you, then have them show you HOW to move, roll, transfer, etc. the correct way.
My back will never be the same and I know 2 nurses in wheelchairs today because of repetitive back injuries. I can't hardly lift anything without suffering. It's the only back you'll ever have. It's not worth being an injured hero.
Get help to move her, or hire someone for her care in your home. If you know your back is already bad, don't push it. You want to be able to enjoy (and walk) in YOUR golden years.
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I cared for a woman with alzheimers for two years. She also had a stroke and one side of her body was too weak to walk on her own. I helped her walk by supporting her 'stroke side' with my body, my arm around her and then she could talk short walks from chair to table, across the room etc.. When we went out or for walks we used a walker or wheelchair which I felt was too clumsy in the house. Over a period of two years I did this and did not realize the damage I was doing to my own body. I was thinking of her dignity and felt strong enough at the time. Long story short, years later I still suffer from a bad neck (leaning my head and shoulders always to my right to support the left side of her body. I also can no longer tilt my head to my left shoulder because I did something to the muscle over time. I should have been using the belt, which a CNA could demonstrate for you, to help with the lifting and to shift my body properly. I have virtually constant pain, take Celebrex and Flexeril and have had to do physical therapy myself. My suggestion to you is to get a professional to show you how to help ambulate your mom (lifting, help with walking, etc) and DO IT even if it seems cumbersome. Over time your body will suffer if you don't.
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Get help from physical therapy, for lower body mechanics. Get help from occupational therapy for upper body mechanics.
Google this.
Talk to, call a rehab hospital.
See if therapist can come over and teach you.
Ask who pays for it.
Go on YouTube and find TRANSFERS PHYSICAL THERAPY, or similar.
Take care of your own back. You will need help!
M88
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You are getting ready for back pain. Either get a lower back ablation to relieve pain (Medicare covered), or get someone else to lift her when needed. I am having to help my husband get up and down and we weigh the same (115 lbs.) and I am a nurse and it still hurts somewhat. I've had the ablation done. Also, get a gait belt that goes around one's waist to help in the leverage. It also goes downhill from now on...
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Many excellent suggestions the far. It's very important that you get professional advice regarding whatever you should or should not do as you manage Mom.
My wife has had episodes of not falling but of slowly stopping standing or sitting. Hence, there have been no calamitous splats. If I am able to roll her onto her back, bend both her knees and place my feet on top of each of her feet and toes, I have been able to help her stand up without bending my back under pressure by holding her hands and leaning backwards. Upon standing, I give her a hug during which she gets back her bearings, and we're good to go again. Try not to become angry. It's frustrating but it's not her fault. Most of all, take care of yourself. If you crash and burn, so will Mom.
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Candyce22, you can get a transport chair for $100 that folds up. Pull her close to the car door with you in front if her, and lock the wchair. Explain shes getting up on a
1 2 3. Rock her 1 2 3 up. Put one leg inbetween hers. Bend your knees. Stand her straight up close to you. Ok mom, okay now lets dance to the right (or left)and sit her on edge if car seat. Have someone else in other side of car for extra help. Lift her legs and pivot them in. Great job mom. We used "On the Road again"
cd by willy nelson to make it fun. Music does wonders aways as they uuse a different part of their brain to listen. I sang words to her a lot. If you want, you can buy a rotating disc chair pad but for us, it made the seat too high.Best of luck to you. Once in your home, ask the doctor for a hoyer lift and wherlchair free with an rx from medicare. It will help you get her into bed and you can lift her off floor easily by rolling her and putting the sling under her. Soon she wont be able to get in the car, thats the tough part, we bought an old used van. I lost my mom 3-11-16, after over an 8 year stay with us. Bless you ♡
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I also have a bad lower back. Lifting mother is out of the question.
See a PT who can show you ways to work with your mother and her abilities to lessen the strain on you. My old client thought I was a little workhorse and getting her in and out of the car was like lifting a bag of wet cement (I actually had to have 2 back surgeries after retiring from elder care!) This PT gave us some really good methods of "helping" the patient to help you--so neither of the strain is all on either of you.

With Mother, now, if she falls, it's just 911. Sad, but even 3 adults cannot get her off the floor. Luckily she hasn't fallen in quite a while.

Best of luck-and protect your back! I will have chronic pain for the rest of my life from abusing a seemingly super-hero back strength and lifting incorrectly!
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