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My dad has been in a veteran's home for a year now. He has dementia. His personality has not changed. He seems sad sometimes. Will he change? My mom died 3 years ago and I never seen him grieve. He got lonely. She had very agressive alzeimer's and he took care of her with some help until the end. I am so afraid he will be mad at me for not being able to take care of him. He started leaving the house. The home takes very good care of him. He has diabetes and just had a tumor removed from his bladder o stage cancer(thank god) he is 81 years old.

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@carolynsfaith I emphatize, dear. Jeanne is right! It's difficult to lose someone he/she has taken care of for a long time, especially if this person is close to your heart. Keep on praying that your dad will feel better because it's only God who can make all things work together for good.
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People who take care of someone with a terminal illness such as Alzheimers often do their grieving as each new loss occurs. By the time death occurs they are all grieved out. Lonely? Sad? Sure ... that sounds normal to me.

If he has been in the VA home for a year now, why are you worried that he "will be mad"? If he hasn't expressed anger over being in the home so far, why would that suddenly come up, do you think?

Along with wuvsicecream, I think you are doing the right thing.
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carolynsfaith I think you did the right thing by getting him the care he needs. You shouldn't feel guilty for doing your best and not ignoring the facts of his needs. You say he's depress, maybe he is suffering the loss of your Mom. I would talk to his Dr's and Nurses and ask about his medication and daily behaviors. I know that with any elder it all depends on time of day sometimes. My Mom is happy one minute pissed off the next, nice to me one day tells me to leave the next. You may need to explain your Dad's personality prior to his new residency they may think this is his norm.
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