I live with my 92 year old father who has health issues. At times all tell him my plans but then he tells everyone else he talks too. I asked not to do that, if I wanted some one to know I’d tell them, he screamed at me and threatened me he would kick me out. That I was wrong for him not to tell people. WTH? It’s my personal business, is it not? Please advise,
It’s challenging to maintain a sense of autonomy because you live together, and he probably still regards you in an outdated way (as a child or teenager).
You will have to create (and enforce) boundaries. You may even have to respond with: ‘That’s my business.’ if his questions are too intrusive.
All best.
I am an only child, my Mother passed away several years ago.
Honestly, I can not live here if he has dementia, he has anger issues to the point where I become afraid of being in the same room. So if it comes to that I will remove myself all together,
My cousins used to laugh sometimes about how we knew random trivial information about each other because our parents were gossiping (harmlessly) about it.
So if you don't want something shared, don't tell him.
There can also be the element of not respecting you as an adult because you're his child living in his house, and he's going to show you who's in charge. Unfortunately that's also common, especially with fathers.
So is it just this one issue of him telling him things without your permission, or is there a bigger issue of you living there not working out? Was this screaming and threatening you a one-time issue, or is it a frequent pattern?
Now if you are his caregiver, and he has dementia, you have another answer at hand; he isn't completely in control of his own cognition.
I think that it would be a good idea to tell him simply that you are leaving, and leave your phone number with him for emergencies (if he is capable of being left alone.)
I am thinking, if this is the worst issue? Then you are doing REALLY well and should be congratulated on that.
Gest of luck.
he’s on oxygen 24/7.
I believe my personal business should be mine and mine alone. Just say’n.
no neighbors are involved just his side of the family.
He's 92 years old and used to having his way. It's his house and he feels he can do what he wants. He's being rude, but thinks he is entitled to boss you around. He has no life and probably enjoys talking about yours. Keep the chat about the weather, food or similar everyday subjects. Sports is a good topic.