We have been trying to help a 93 yr old neighbor who has been neglected by the women who has power of attorney over her care. Filed three separate cases with Detroit DHS who proved to be useless. What can we do?
Well, knowing how much of a mess Detroit is in, I can understand this.
Have you tried Wayne County Social Services? There's a ombudsman agency on the East side of Wayne County but as I recall from speaking with them they generally intervened or offered advice when nursing homes were the issue.
Does Grosse Pointe have any kind of social services intervention? Senior Services? They might be able to guide you to other agencies.
Alternatively, do you know any of the family members you could contact?
Lastly, you might try the Wayne County Prosecutor's office. I'm not sure it's necessarily within their jurisdiction but they might be able to make recommendations.
However, If the person with DPOA authority is in fact neglecting this woman, civil and/or criminal charges may be brought.
Also, contact the Area Agency on Aging; they also might have recommendations.
Another option is to contact Michigan Elder Law (http://www.elderlawofmi.org/). This not a law firm; it’s a Michigan agency which provides a wide variety of elder related services, for free.
I've contacted them several times and have always gotten good advice. Typically they'll ask what your question is, then have an attorney contact you the following day. It is only for seniors, so if you're not a senior, be sure to tell the intake person when you first call that it is about a senior in distress.
In the meantime, are you documenting the abuses, with dates, descriptions, details, photos? That also raises the point of how you are aware of this neglect? Be prepared to be specific; the more information you can provide the easier it will be for an agency to justify intervention.
Lastly, there are the local news channels, with their intervention team, such as "Ruth to the Rescue". Provide them with the details and if there's a story they'll get on it.
It is easy to accuse someone of neglect than it is to actually take care of the person yourself. If you aren't the person with the POA then the elderly person on question didn't feel comfortable with entrusting you with their life. Therefore, you need to help support the POA not take them down. To file cases with the state only conplicates the life of the POA and the elderly person. That is probably your motive though. I see it way too often. I'm worried that the POA is neglecting when actually you are just sore you don't have control. I question all complaints about neglect/abuse made by family members. Usually it's a bitter feud among family members and they try to use the state agencies as the method of attack. You haven't proved your case in three reports so it sounds like the state has your number. Take a break from your bitterness and embrace the POA.
I'm very glad this topic came up, as I find it a very difficult one to address. I understand like Rich, that is is easier to be a part-time, back-seat driver, than it is to actually be responsible for caring for that individual. At the same time, what we need is more acceptable, non-official ways, to offer suggestions - for the other extreme doesn't work well either - the caregiver who gets no outside input, can be applying very limited interventions and help for someone. There are indeed two sets of issues (at least) - the care of the fragile elder, and the self care needs of the caregiver - which should ideally, include a format for receiving and reviewing suggestions, reading them at their pace. As a caregiver, I find input always important, but people who then rush to make decisions, rather than allow me to consider and integrate that input, that process is disrespetful of me and of the complexity of the struggle to see and meet care needs. Sadly, care agencies often lack the sensitivity to evaluate the elder, offer suggestions, and ask the caregiver to report back, help the caregiver improve, or state their idea, before trying to replace them - for there are many ways to provide care - if the man is 95, he's done pretty well already with the independent approach - most elders don't make it to 95.
Emma, it sounds as if your husband is designated as Personal Representative in your MIL's Will, and if so, and/or unless there are very peculiar circumstances and terms in that will, those powers don't vest until your MIL dies. Your husband can't act on them as they're not yet conferred; they're powers that are contingent on your MIL's death.
For him to act on her behalf legally and/or financially while she's alive, he'd have to be named as attorney-in-fact in a Durable of Attorney. To make medical decisions on her behalf, the appropriate document would be a Health Care Proxy, a/k/a Living Will.
Oops, my computer sent before I finished - I just think that the best job of family, is to show they are concerned and care about a vulnerable member. Sometimes distance or lack of options prevent real help - but finding a way to stay in touch and value the relationship -- can help enormously - there are lots of fix-it people in the world, but only one family for us all. Working to get some regular contact, and take the criticism as temporary and misguided, and not the elder's real focus - they don't know how to say I need you, I need you to care about me now, and love me - so they may criticize - they are just giving voice to some of the questions and uncertainties they face now and are afraid of. So just say, that sounds rough, or that's a shame, would you like me to try to fix anything - and otherwise, just say, "good to talk with you". You'll hear then, of any risks that arise, and will feel less obligated, and more eager, to try to help, out of caring.
my aunt was pretty neglected when i hooked up with her a year ago . i jumped in there and started bringing her QOL up and up and the example that i provided caused the pia to hop in there and do her part . i have a very flexible work schedule so i understand everyone cant do this but it sure worked in our case . pia is so jealous now she wont even speak to me . good . i dont particularily like her anyway but shes gotten off her behind and is helping her mother . thats all that matters to me ..
Individual perspective has a lot to do with it. My parent has a "friend" who is closer to my age. She calls or drops in for a visit, but never gets to the "down and dirty" of care -- she's always "too busy for that." She drops in for a cup of tea and a fun chat but does not "listen" to what my parent really wants/needs. But, because she's there and I'm not, she thinks she can send me snarky notes on email telling me everything I'm doing wrong. My parent also "quotes" what this person says, especially when the person encourages her self-indulgent and sometimes destructive behavior. Every day I'm working on something online or by phone to find ways to help/coordinate things for my parent and to "pick up the pieces" when something has gone wrong. Her "friend" is not doing this! When I am at my parent's house I am cleaning, shopping, cooking, coordinating with a variety of agencies who help my parent. I am taking my parent places she needs/wants to go. I am doing the best I can and my efforts are overshadowed by the person who "drops in." Of course my parent is going to complain -- it's making conversation -- elder style!
So, before a "concerned" person questions a POA/caregiver, they need to look at the living environment, the health of the elder, the complexities of the aging process, and be sure -- absolutely sure they are correct in their assessment of neglect. This may or may not be helpful to this comment thread, but it is another side of the issue.
Rich985, you must have read a different post than I did, because the one I read sounded like I was a truly concerned person, who has proof of neglect.. You told him to take a break from his bitterness, I disagree, maybe if more people would be concerned there would be less elderly abuse.
nadia556, do you personally know who the woman is who has the POA for your 93 year old neighbor? Can you call her and tell her what you are witnessing your neighbor doing, and gently suggest she come over to check on the 93 year olds wellbeing?
Is the POA woman a relative of your neighbor or doe she have no relation to her at all? If you haven't seen her in awhile, maybe something happened to her like a serious illness or maybe she had died. If she was an only relative of the neighbor, or a friend who had POA, maybe no one knows she was a POA. Or maybe there never was anyone to look over the wellbeing of this 93 year old woman.
Have you tried Wayne County Social Services? There's a ombudsman agency on the East side of Wayne County but as I recall from speaking with them they generally intervened or offered advice when nursing homes were the issue.
Does Grosse Pointe have any kind of social services intervention? Senior Services? They might be able to guide you to other agencies.
Alternatively, do you know any of the family members you could contact?
Lastly, you might try the Wayne County Prosecutor's office. I'm not sure it's necessarily within their jurisdiction but they might be able to make recommendations.
However, If the person with DPOA authority is in fact neglecting this woman, civil and/or criminal charges may be brought.
Also, contact the Area Agency on Aging; they also might have recommendations.
Another option is to contact Michigan Elder Law (http://www.elderlawofmi.org/). This not a law firm; it’s a Michigan agency which provides a wide variety of elder related services, for free.
I've contacted them several times and have always gotten good advice. Typically they'll ask what your question is, then have an attorney contact you the following day. It is only for seniors, so if you're not a senior, be sure to tell the intake person when you first call that it is about a senior in distress.
In the meantime, are you documenting the abuses, with dates, descriptions, details, photos? That also raises the point of how you are aware of this neglect? Be prepared to be specific; the more information you can provide the easier it will be for an agency to justify intervention.
Lastly, there are the local news channels, with their intervention team, such as "Ruth to the Rescue". Provide them with the details and if there's a story they'll get on it.
For him to act on her behalf legally and/or financially while she's alive, he'd have to be named as attorney-in-fact in a Durable of Attorney. To make medical decisions on her behalf, the appropriate document would be a Health Care Proxy, a/k/a Living Will.
Hope this helps clarify the issues.
So, before a "concerned" person questions a POA/caregiver, they need to look at the living environment, the health of the elder, the complexities of the aging process, and be sure -- absolutely sure they are correct in their assessment of neglect. This may or may not be helpful to this comment thread, but it is another side of the issue.
Is the POA woman a relative of your neighbor or doe she have no relation to her at all? If you haven't seen her in awhile, maybe something happened to her like a serious illness or maybe she had died. If she was an only relative of the neighbor, or a friend who had POA, maybe no one knows she was a POA. Or maybe there never was anyone to look over the wellbeing of this 93 year old woman.
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