I've never heard this term but it fits. I've seen it. My friend actually recorded the behaviors that weren't being believed. The doctors were quite shocked. I have seen some of it with my dad; I think its more common in the early stages. I can't tell you how many hours I racked my brain trying to figure out if I was going nuts or if he were that good an actor or liar. It's very frustrating!
I've also seen this in my husband. Staff thinks he's smart and funny. When I show up he's angry at me because I won't take him home. I've tried several times. He refuses to shower or even get out of bed. He is a different person with me. Dementia is many things, but behavior can vary greatly based on the relationship to the people involved.
I noticed that with my dad too. He treats me completely different than others. When we have company he acts like he knows what’s going on but when they leave we’re right back to requiring help with everything.
I'm baffled when people tell me how cute and charming my mother is to them. She's anything but sweet in a family-only setting. Out come the hateful remarks, verbal attacks, pinching, slapping, paranoia, and rages. During a recent hospitalization all I heard from the nursing staff is what a sweetheart my mom was. I know it's the dementia, but it infuriates me that she can be so selective. Why can't she be sweet with us?
Yes they can fool people One they never tell the truth to their doctors etc.My father in law never told the VA he drank.He is an alcoholic,so they could not figure out why he had certain ailments.Though now it's starting to show.
This is not really an answer to anything, but I want to say a great big "Bless You" to all who have posted here. My mother-in-law has been diagnosed with dementia, still living at home with just her husband (who also seems to be very forgetful). We live 40+ miles away, so don't see her as often as we should. My brother-in-law lives just a few miles away, but his health is bad too, so he can't help much. Anyway, just reading your stories has lightened my heart, and I know with God's help we can manage to do what needs to be done...perhaps moving them (if they will) to our property.
OMG! I am so happy to hear that my situation is not isolated. I share so many of your stories and sometimes feel that I am losing my mind when my patient's ocar winning performances begin. Her multiple personalities make me think that the short term memory loss is really attributed to old age and her condition is truly a personality disorder that has been undiagnosed for years.
Just remember to take care of you. "Reality and fantasy don't exist in the same space."
My step daughter just recently offered to take her dad to a family friend's baby's christening two hours away. It would be her mom, brother and her. I loved the idea, as I truly adore these people but was longing for the hours to just rest. Let me say that my husband's first wife has been so supportive, and understanding. So...they came to pick up dad. I had showered and shaved him-haircut and nice clothes-which took the entire morning. I was looking pretty grubby, but got a quick shower. The only downside was that I was expected to dog sit for their three furry friends. I knew this ahead of time, as this is always the case when they have taken him to events on three previous occasions. Not a huge deal, but boy, I was so looking forward to just quiet time. But here's the rub: as soon as they return, all I hear about is how "social, how conversational he was-how he did not use his transporter chair once, only went to the bathroom once in 9'hours"! He was great! Arghhhhhh! They leave and within 30 minutes he can't remember where they had gone or how he got there or who went with him. He then called his son at home to tell him that he'd seen the friend's new baby and asked why he didn't go. And so once again I am feeling like he has managed to "showtime".
I learned early on not to ever scold for incontinence, though I have truly worked at encouraging him to use the commode next to the bed. He is pretty good but I have to keep a couple of disposable underwear on the night table and a pad on the floor. It amazes me that he can manage to change and that sometimes includes his tee shirt, yet he does not know where he is. Everything is so crazy, especially at night. I keep trying to find less expensive products, as he sometimes has 5-6 changes a day.
Oh wow, thank you so much, everyone, I was beginning to think I was crazy. It’s so wonderful to hear others are having the same experience. I love this forum already.
Just remember to take care of you. "Reality and fantasy don't exist in the same space."