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I have done everything in my power to ensure my Mom is well cared for and I must say I have done a remarkable job. It was very hard work for me and all I have ever requested from my sister is her signature on checks to pay what Mom owes the NH. and I have informed her included her all the way but I found it easier to just focus on Mom's needs and fill sis in when it was necessary. I never held info. back or made any actions or appointments without including her but she always refused to be a part of anything. What I am saying in short is I did it all and she ignored it all. It seems that now that she understands that her inheritance is spent she is mad at me. However when I was taking care of the home, Mom, working 45 hours a week, and asked her to help me she wanted to get paid. I did all the work sis complained and an hour out of her time she wanted payment. I never took a cent for myself in fact, I took money out of my pocket to pay for Mom's needs, not to be reimbursed, I don't care about that. So the real problem that I am having now is...she uses the P.O.A,. as a way to get me back for doing things right... I'm guessing, She gives me a hard time when it comes to signing checks for Mom. She doesn't see that Mom's care is the issue... never has. Is this legally a crime if she's not acting in the benefit of Mom as her fiduciary duty? She is also a trustee for my mentally disabled brother and I see neglect there as well. bottom line her focus is herself! I feel I should take action against her to remove her power. Can I do anything about her being in my way?

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I know that your mother has dementia. Has she ever been declared incompetent? Can she understand the concept of allowing someone else to act in her interests? The simplest solution here would be for Mom to rescind the POA and make a new one naming only you. (Co-POA, in my opinion, create lots of problems and have minimal benefit.) Could you explain it in such a way that would not turn Mother against Sister, but would get the POA documant rewritten?

As I say, that would be easiest, but I don't know how feasible it is.

As for changing the trusteeship for your brother, I don't know how that works. Is there someone else who could step in?
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If she is co-POA then she has power until a new POA is signed or you authorize a revocation form. Otherwise it is illegal for her to use any funds that are not 100% used for her best interest.
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If Mom is still conssidered competent to act on her own behalf, and that is very loosely determined at times (she must be deemed legally incompetent), NOT JUST SOMEONE'S OPINION...she can have your sister removed very easily as POA. If there is a care team who are aware that her best interests are not in mind from your sister, I would ask their assistance in meeting with Mom...if Mom is deemed incompetent, than legal Guardianship may be the route...a judge will weigh all of the information and do what is in mom's best interest....it is not as complicated as it seems to do this....
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people change when it comes to money. ive noticed it always one sibling doing all the grint work, and one siblng with that golden pen that writes check. they have no clue whats going on, the daily little expenses that you dont write down,but they know that you can dit it for cheaper. they actually think your getting a free ride! the caregiver doing the grunt work it exausting! it non stop, its harder than haveing 5 todlers!
try this. tell sis you need a break. insist upon it. nag her till she swtches with you for, oh try for two weeks, plan to have the person back in 5 days.
or talk to a lawyer about haveing that changed, see if you can get expenses ( some) automaticly deducted, then keep ALL receipts ( even that mc donalds,keep it) dont ask mom, it cant really be up to her, its already out of her hands anyway. talk to sis about switching for 2 weeks. and she wont want to. she will have every excuse in the book, you have 3 reason for every one reason shes would have, make sense? if that dont work, go about her head. go to court
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poaform, her mother needs to revoke the POA, not wuvsicecream. Also, to clarify - MOM's best interest if other instructions were not provided by Mom. I believe these points are what you intended to convey. Thanks! :-)
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