The person I live with has dementia and follows me around like a shadow. How can I get some space without hurting her feelings? - AgingCare.com

The person I live with has dementia and follows me around like a shadow. How can I get some space without hurting her feelings?

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She is 82 & is in stage one dementia for 1 year now,showing signs of stage 2.

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Mom gets a mild prescribed sleeping pill at night as well as a mild pain pill acetaminophen with a kicker. (Very mild.) The sleeping pill to help her sleep (of course), and the mild pain pill because (doctor said) sometimes dementia patients are uncomfortable and don't really realize it.

That stopped her extremely wakeful nights. Oh!! THAT and stopping Namenda which causes sleep disturbances and hallucinations. AND whose ads say:

"There is no evidence that NAMENDA XR prevents or slows the underlying disease process in patients with Alzheimer's disease."

Mom still talks in her sleep. But she sleeps the night through now. She suuuure wasn't before.
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janey53, that a good question... I would re-post it as a brand new *question* so you would get more answers :)
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Hey can anyone help me please, I am probably asking this again, but I really need some natural suggestions in having my resident sleep decently in the night even though he has dementia. Anyone have suggestions?
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marci5569, my Dad shadowed my Mom right after he retired from work, and Dad didn't have any memory problems. He just didn't know what to do with him self as he was so use to going to work for the past 45 years. He was so bored. Mom would hand him a vacuum, or a dust rag, and eventually he found things to keep himself buy ;) I couldn't image someone shadowing for months on end. Lot of good advice here.
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OSMIII, I read how your wife wanders. My dad did that until we moved to this roomier home. He is content, finally. We do not have a lot of clutter which makes the areas more spacious. Lots of trees around, too. I cannot understand how difficult the difference would be to have a spouse with this disease since my dad having it is quite trying. I am preparing to continue school classes online or perhaps a vocation part time online. Do you and your wife have any animals? Daddy loves the animals here and looks forward to the interaction with them. Patience is indeed a virtue, isn't it?
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No way I would make that trade!
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My dad lives with me and occasionally "shadows" me. I'm learning to not take it personally because he is not himself. He loves classic movies and programs on Netflix and you're prompted after a period of time so I check on him and we comment about what he is watching. He loves the cats in our home and two dogs in backyard not to mention the birds and squirrels. Also, Netflix has wonderful nature programs! He has no sense of time so Netflix has been the best $9/monthly expenditure I could ask for. Dad's room is large and his bathroom is huge so he can pace pack and forth to his heart's desire. The bath has 4 windows that stay open to the privacy fenced back yard. His bedroom has two windows with window seats separated by built in cabinet/closets. I have heavy curtains on the bottom half of the windows for privacy from neighbors. He comments how he enjoys looking out of top of window closest to his bed because of the tall trees nearby. Great things come in small packages! It has been a challenge to give up my life to take care of my dad, but I'll be grateful later and have savings to help me adjust when the time comes. We eat a lot of organic steel cut oatmeal with walnuts, soy & almond milk instead of dairy. Diet goes a long way to helping him with contentment and me with my fears of failure. On occasion when he is very relaxed and my skin feels like it is crawling because I have no personal space/time I take a Benedryl and get a nap; amazing results!
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jfryhospice. That is right. I am a full time and then some 25-8-367 caregiver to my elderly spouse. I understand the situation. I wrote from that position to illuminate that kind of situation.

Diff'rent strokes for diff'rnt folks, I guess. But them's my sentiments.

Ich kann nicht ander. :)
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The shadowing made me a nervous wreck because I did not get to leave after my shift was over. I agree that we need to be kind and loving but sometimes you need to vent. I would never have snapped at my Mother to stop following me but I could come to this site and vent. Just because shadowing is annoying and we need a break does not make us uncaring caregivers. Please try to understand when others are venting to "get it out" vs. being an abusive caregiver. It is usually quite the opposite. When a caregiver does not get burned out every once in a while I just wonder what drugs they are on.
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*Brain has degenerated, not break.
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