Period of lucidity...How do we ever adjust to the ebb and flow of dementia? -

Period of lucidity...How do we ever adjust to the ebb and flow of dementia?


My mom was so wacky the last 2 months and finally after her threatening to leave and taking all her money out of the bank,I sat down and talked to her about her condition.Now normally she doesn't listen but this time she did.We went to the bank and put the money back in,and she has been almost normal for a few days.I know what's going to happen,because it does so over and over,but dealing with the coming storm is very depressing. How do we ever adjust to the ebb and flow of dementia? So sad:(

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I agree, NancyH, that living in the moment is extremely important. And just being aware of the ebb and flow. I remember last year my husband asking me a question about our early years together, something really significant to us, and even when I reminded him, he had no recollection of it. I went into the bathroom, stuck my head in a towel and cried and cried. Two days later, he himself brought up the very thing he had had no recollection of.
Same with his levels of confusion, and ability to do certain things for himself. It just comes and goes.
So I try to keep fairly focused in the moment when I am interacting with him on a day-to-day basis, while I keep planning and putting things in place for the future.
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I agree with NancyH: making memories is what life is all about. All memories are in the subconscious, so as the disease progresses, the flashes of stored memories will be recalled. All loving and positive memories are helpful.
My Mother is not speaking anymore but once in awhile something will register and I can tell she is remembering. Nothing good and loving is ever wasted:) xo
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Spooky, I hope you've had your mom checked out for other things and NOT just dementia right? A UTI for example? Other than that, I've learned to LIVE IN THE MOMENT with my mother-in-law. That's why I take her on mini road trips and spend time doing things that she likes to do. She literally will not remember that we went 200 miles that day, going to the beach etc, but she did remember AT THE TIME. Some people will just shrug and ask, 'what's the point?" "why take her somewhere that she won't remember?" "why bother?" But I disagree. She loves what we do when we do it, so that's why I live in the moment with her. But I love the times that her memory is there and intact, gotta admit. When she stops enjoying herself with me, then that's when I'll stop.
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I have a new question, which is essential to doing the best for a person with dementia. A very much loved grandaughter was offered a summer job in the area my Mother lives in. My mother was delighted and excited to invite my daughter to stay with her. She has extra bedrooms and baths. A rotation of companions is there pretty much 24/7. The sister in charge is forbiding it. Wouldn't the best thing to be to try a couple of weeks and see if my Mom is happy and comforted by having my daughter there? In this case, my mom has wonderful long term memory and is still self sufficient in her own care.
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