People say the darndest things at holiday gatherings! What have your relatives said at past gatherings?

As I read all of your stories, I thought of a couple:
When I was a young mom of two, we visited my least favorite grandmother, a 2000 miles away. She was going to church, and then would make scalloped potatoes for a family gathering. I thought I would help, and I made the potatoes. My Gma chewed me out for doing that. At the dinner, several aunts asked my Gma if she had a new recipe, because the potatoes were very good! Tee-hee.

Also when I had two little ones, my family & my sister's family all flew "home" for Christmas. The adorable 2mo old niece had thrown up on the plane. Little did we know, she was sharing the stomach flu with all 14 of us, in the same house. I thought I had made it through with out it. On the 4th day, I asked Mom, what's for dinner. She asked me, "What do you feel like puking up? She was right. (:

This was supposed to be humorous and lighthearted fun. Why start badmouthing people and bringing race into it?

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Plenty of racism and jingoism north of the Mason-Dixon Line, too.

Some of my family of origin and most of my in-laws pepper their conversations with that nonsense. Sadly, holiday gatherings frequently serve as a showcase for their hate speech.

The part that always bowls me over? The biggest noise-makers have immigrant parents or immigrant grandparents.

But - of course - their people emigrated from the “correct” countries.

And built the great USA by toiling away in miserable factories. (Taking jobs away from Americans??).

And lived in ethnic enclaves where the adults could get by without learning English. (De rigueur in the 1st half of the 20th century. But unacceptable nowadays. 🤔)

And used their “weird” food and old-country rituals to bond with each other - and achieve pariah status. (All fine, because these immigrants did not hail from south of the border or Muslim countries or today’s war-torn 3rd world.)

And flooded the local schools with their filthy ragamuffin children. (When this applies to Dad or Grandpa, it’s a touching vignette. When this happens in their school districts today, it’s fodder for a vein-bulging rant.)

The tunnel vision is EXHAUSTING.

There’s no talking sense to these relatives. They truly Do Not See It.

**face palm**

My husband’s aunt is a typical ‘old Southern lady’. And unfortunately part of her old southern mentality is religious indoctrination (according to her, America has gone to Hell because they took prayer out of schools and let gays get married) with a side of racism.

(I’m Southern too, so I already know it’s “not all southerners.”)

During dinner she remarked that two of her grandkids had gotten baptized in her church, and what a special thing that was to her. She was truly sincere about it, and we all agreed it was a good thing.

Then not 10 minutes later, the topic is neighborhoods around our city, and she says “oh, those [N-word]s ruined what was a good part of town”. Husband, myself, and the cousins around our age said nothing but we all looked at each other like “the hell?”. This is from a woman who has never said so much as the word “damn” in front of anyone, but the N-word? No problem!

Sendhelp,

I think you should type these up and send them to a publisher. I am not sure what the title of the book should be but it would be hysterical.

Would be different from the caregiver books out there on Amazon. That’s for sure. Hahaha

- Quite sad - really. Had conversation with brother in law as wife is almost 3 years into an Alzheimer's diagnosis.
- Tell relative I am bringing Russian black bread for Christmas. Note to self - don't do it again as her response was NOT "thank you." "What's that?"

My family, immediate and extended have always had a mean streak. Comments about appearance were always a way of hurting. Fortunately for me I have evolved some since those days. I don't focus on appearances and if people throw comments like those around now I just give them a sympathetic look as if to say "how sad that you still think like that" Don't get me wrong, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to look good. But as age creeps on, apart from trying to take good care of oneself there isn't much you can do about it.

All of us women used to gather at MILs house a few days before Christmas to make Tamales. One year in particular my MILs sister/my husband’s aunt joined us. Everyone would bring something-either cooked meat or Chile for the sauce or give $$ toward the masa. So my husband’s aunt had bought the Chile’s and MIL was upset because she bought New Mexico Chile’s which are very spicy! She was supposed to have gotten something mild like a California Chile. So that set the tone for the whole day, they just argued non stop while they tried to get the sauce made & tone down the spiceyness because MIL did not like spicy food. I can’t remember the context of the conversation now but I’m sitting at the table spreading masa in to the corn husks with my SILs thinking we will never finish, while MIL and her sister are by the stove fussing with meat when her sister suddenly yells out “you and your damn kids think you are better than me” and she storms out of the house! And MIL is just beside herself because her sister “cursed” at her kids LOL! Like she was irate that her sister said “your damn kids”. She was so angry because her sister used a semi-bad word when referring to her kids! So ridiculous! I wish I could remember what exactly happened because it was a doozy and we were all trying not to laugh because they were both behaving so utterly ridiculous! And my MIL could hold a grudge better than anyone I know. They didn’t talk for at least a year after this.

The tamales turned out good though AND we got to split aunt’s share since she stormed out before the first batch was even done!

Hey Shezza1...........my mother introduces me as HER mother! And she started doing this years ago while still in Assisted Living!!! You should get a few pairs of those fake hillbilly teeth for the CGs at your mom's Memory Care..........so the next time she wants to visually appraise their teeth, they can pop a pair in and REALLY give her something to talk about!! Oh to be a fly on the wall..........LOL

Since my mother has gone into a memory care unit her tact has disappeared out the window. She introduces my sister and I to all and sundry - knows we are her daughters, cannot always remember names - and then finishes with the very obvious descriptor that we are fat! Occasionally she says I am old and fat - another obvious descriptor. She has also become obsessed with teeth. She often asks staff to come up close to her, to smile, and then she visually appraises their teeth. We were embarrassed for them the first time, then we realised with dementia patients it is a case of anything goes.

Oh brother. Well, I have ALWAYS fought excess weight issues my whole life and have been on one diet or another for what seems like ages. One year at a holiday gathering after I'd lost a bunch of weight, my nasty old Aunt (mother's sister) didn't recognize me. My mother is going, "Oh you remember Chris, she used to be really FAT" and she held her arms out in parentheses around her hips and waddled around to show everybody what 'fat' looks like. So my Aunt goes OH YEAH, I remember. NOW KEEP IT OFF THIS TIME!!!

I never did like the old bat and after that rotten comment, I liked her a whole lot less. Two peas in a pod, my narcissistic mother and her insufferable sister!

when I was a teenager, someone in my aunt’s (my mother’s sister) in-laws family died & they had a post-service family gathering at my aunts MILs house. I hadn’t seen my aunts MIL in many years because my aunt & uncle had moved to SoCal and we hardly ever saw them. Anyway my mom & I went over to the house to set up before the family arrived and when my aunts MIL walked in and saw me, first thing she said was “wow how did you lose all that weight”? I had no idea what she was talking about because I’d never had any weight to loose! I was always very petite and skinny! Always smaller than the other kids my age. I just looked at her confused and said “I don’t know”. But even if I had been over weight at one point, WHO SAYS THAT TO A TEENAGER?

Grandmother was mentally sharp, but chock full of issues like anxiety and depression. She also harped on looks, especially weight... despite being disabled and thus some weight gain from the resulting lack of activity.

Anyhoo, we’re all eating and as usual the topic comes to diets. For whatever reason grandma looks at me and says “you ought to go to Jenny Craig.” The hell?! I was 19 and weight was a very sensitive issue for me. Yeah I had a little extra padding, but was not obese by any means. She was heavier than me!

I kept it together through dinner but had to step away and cry a little. Mom said “Oh ignore her, she’s nuts.” Too late; was already embarrassed.

Grandfather topped it a few years later. There was a new baby in the family (my nephew) and of course he was the star of the show. So grandpa decides it’s a great time to nudge my cousin’s wife and ask “When are you gonna have one?”— knowing full well she’d had two miscarriages that year.

She got teary instantly (who could blame her?) but handled it nicely, and said “Grandpa, please don’t say things like that, it hurts my feelings!”. Grandpa, ever so clueless, just says “Ahh c’mon.”

I just thought of another one. My sister's F I L was a real irascible old fart. I used to make sure I wasn't sitting anywhere near him cause he could be really insulting. One year I arrived late. He looked me up and down and said "well I see your t*ts have grown and your not as stupid looking"

Yep, can't make this stuff up.

My great-grandmother was quite the old battle axe and had more than a few run-ins with other family members. Once when my uncle brought his wife and 2 children to a family gathering, she looked at the youngest child (everyone suspected the wife had had an affair and that the child was not my uncle's) and said, "That's not one of ours."

My Gram came to visit us in Colorado for her last Thanksgiving. We visited Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs area. She howled on and off that trip because of the coyote that she saw in The Garden.

That my nephew and his girlfriend (who was pregnant) were having a "Jamaica baby" (the timing coincided with an ill-advised trip to Jamaica that they took together).

1. "The way your hair is right now makes you look a little like Spencer Tracy". To laughter all around the table. Luckily that was several years ago. But you can imagine I didn't forget it. Hee hee.

I too had everything redone when I helped. Or I was told exactly how to do it... cut the green beans in 1 1/2 pieces.. three cuts to each string bean. They checked them. Next time I brought bread from Panera and it was the best bread they’ve had. They gobbled it down. Never a thank you.

This past Thanksgiving my brothers close friend of thirty years asked my brother why my apple pie was wavy. I was a little aggravated, but deleted the thought quickly. Told dear brother not to repeat things.

My brothers fiancée came for Thanksgiving one year and brought her two dogs. My brother purchased a large turkey at a local turkey farm for $70. At the start of dinner I informed her she can prepare a dish of turkey for each of the dogs after we all finish dinner. Well I went into the kitchen to make turkey pie and turkey soup and low and behold the turkey was scalped to the bone. The next year I was carving the turkey and looked at her with a frown type look and said " I will cut some turkey for your dogs after we all have dinner." I jumped up with the carving knife, and did a Chinese type gesture and slammed the knife into the turkey all the while looking at her and niece watching. Nothing said, but turkey was intact. End of story.

At a Thanksgiving long ago, an elderly gent (my future FIL) peered at me and said, "Young lady, you are very pretty." Long pause. "Of course, I'm half blind."

Still laughing 20 years later. Love this thread, thanks!

Feast or famine ? My new SIL a few years back of two weeks sat down at our table for Thanksgiving and had the nerve to say "I guess we have to eat what they prepared.." nothing like putting a bit of drama to the occasion. I did tell her about her comment a year later in a heated discussion about family matters.

What a great question and answers!! Love it!

My mom hosts Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc. She loves to host the meals and has the china, crystal, silver, etc to set a beautiful table. We all gather around the living room to join hands and say a prayer.. which Mom says and takes very seriously.

Anyway, Mom was saying the prayer and I looked up to check on my (then) eight year old son. He was holding my brother's hand and dry heaving. I thought my brother had passed silent gas (his specialty) and that my son was at the height to be "in the line of fire." I couldn't help it and began to giggle. I really tried hard to stifle it but that just made it worse! My husband was squeezing my hand trying to quiet me but that also made it worse. I just couldn't stop!!!

I ruined my mom's prayer and she was, understandably, not happy. I apologized but was still reminded how to behave during the prayer for the next several holiday dinners.

Turns out, my son was standing near an appetizer tray of cheese and crackers and was getting an unwelcome whiff of blue cheese. Not surprisingly, neither of us like that cheese!

Sendhelp,

Personally, I still love Santa! Hahaha

People do say the funniest things. I have a friend who hates Christmas music! The odd thing is that she is the pianist at her church and has to play it. She plays beautifully.

When we go out for coffee and they have Christmas music playing she says, “I hate Christmas music! I don’t want to hear it.”

She loves music but I think since she’s had issues with her family. She and her sisters are quarreling and she can’t handle the warm, fuzzy emotions of Christmas music.

I remember another one. I bought my father pants for Christmas but wanted to hem them before I wrapped them so at Thanksgiving I asked him to try them on so I could measure the length. I figured he would go into the bathroom and try a pair on....NOPE....dropped his pants right in the middle of my dining room in front of everyone. A few years later I was at a wedding several states away and met some of my cousin's in laws. They had met my father before and asked how he was. I told them the Thanksgiving story and they mentioned he had dropped his pants in their home too. It is amazing he was ever invited back anywhere.

one year my fun aunt became a born again Christian and would use every family holiday to preach at us and harangue us - it was awful.

Finally - one holiday dinner she was standing up while we were eating and yelling at us "have you found Jesus?!!!" My uncle put down his napkin, stood up and said "I didn't know he was lost - i'll go look for him" and left the table. I was 10 and of course enjoyed the ensuing drama - her getting VERY upset - yelling and crying, other relatives telling her to stop being a pill about religion. I feasted and watched the drama - better than any movie.

Then there was the time my sister's SIL stormed out of a gathering because she forgot to bring popcorn (for popping with the nieces and nephews for a movie later) and none of the kids wanted to leave their game to go with her to the store to buy the popcorn. It was a year before she spoke with anyone in the family - she can really hold a grudge.

There are times I chuckle about all of the family dramas - but honestly, would rather watch them in a movie than around a table.

One year, Mom told my MIL she shot off one of Dads guns in the house, after he died and she was living alone. My MIL was shocked and asked me, at the table, if I knew about this. So many people there, I didn’t hear Mom’s convo with my MIL, and said I did not hear what Mom said. MIL asked Mom to repeat how she came to shoot in the house.

Nice Thanksgiving convo around the dinner table!

When my uncle was still alive, we always had the meal at their house. He had 7 kids, add in a few spouses ( we were younger so there were only a few) all spread out throughout the house on card tables, food had to be ON the table, and passed.. you get the messy picture. Well he was a devout catholic, and always said the prayer,, for ages and ages,,, One year his one son whispered, hurry up, the food is getting cold. Once you heard the pin drop,, the laughter began! I;m not sure we ever had a hot holiday meal!!