The hard part is over.
I'm matching you with one of our specialists who will be calling you in the next few minutes.
In all honesty, we had nothing to talk about... in fact when I call my parents at night, even we have nothing to talk about except for the weather and listening to Dad talk about his college and work days [which I have heard many times over]. Mom is now hard of hearing so those conversations are only 30 seconds, which is sad.
Then a couple years ago while I was doing volunteer work, my desk mate and I started chatting about our parents... then we clicked, as she was dealing with her in-laws from the old country and the high drama of her sister-in-laws, etc. Now we both can't wait until Saturday morning rolls around so we can catch up with our *gossip* about the trials and tribulations of elders :)
Don't be too hard on your friends.
You are doing a very noble and loving thing for both your parents, and God will surely reward you greatly ... if not here, then THERE. The Old Testament specifically (in the book of Sirach) tells us to take care of our elderly parents, and not resent them for being old, needy and perhaps less than lucid mentally. Taking care of our elderly parents when they need us most certainly scores us points in God's eyes ... and He sees all. It can be isolating, depressing, and we feel that we've "checked out" of our own lives. But that only lasts for awhile. My elderly dad, whom we'd been caring for at our home, has just become seriously ill with COPD (brought to a crisis by pneumonia) this past winter, and it looks like he won't be coming home again -- his care regimen is too constant, and complex for us to handle here. His memory has diminished greatly. I've lost my "buddy" whom I would talk to constantly, take on daily errands, and have as my parental support and confidante. Our parents are a gift to us in their old age....let's look at them that way. And yes, friends, siblings and relatives skidaddle when we have an elder living with us. Who know why? Some are selfish, don't want to be bothered, and don't have a clue as to what goes into caring for them. But their day is coming. And their kids have their 'selfish' example to follow.
Last year, dad had a stroke and he's now bedridden. At that time, I thought, Now the family will help. I have begged, asked, threatened to leave, how my doc said that I am now a high risk for heart attack, threatened to commit suicide...No help -physically. I was promised that my adult nephew, his girlfriend and son will move in. Nothing.
This year, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I stopped talking to the family (all my siblings got the talk/email) about suicide. I had finalized the details - down to When, Where and How. I figured out how to do it where my body would be found, etc...I don't know...but I truly believe that God had helped me to find this site. (It never fails in the past years, that when I have decided to kill myself, friends would suddenly drop by...and I end up venting to them of my stress with caregiving.) I happened upon this site on a Friday. Three days later, I decided that I wanted to die. I remembered this site and how encouraging everyone was, so I got on and posted. It was the people on this site that helped pull me out from the deep dark tunnel where I thought I had nowhere to go but death. Now, in turn, I try to help others like me who needs encouragement.
rioblu - I have 7 sisters and brothers. 6 of those makes much more money than I do! They get to travel every year! But...sigh...just because a person have a large family does NOT mean they will help!
Oh...if you do ask them for help, they will do it one time and then after that, you can't find them easily. (In other words, they will avoid you...fam does that all the time.) I have friends who think it's easy for me to find someone to "babysit" parents so that I can come to their function, etc...And I do my best to avoid them!!
My "so called" friends lost a mother about 2. Years ago. I was there for them and her even while taking care of my mom.
We are still friends, but I see them in a different light.