I take care of my 98 year old MIL who has recently moved in with us because none of her other adult children could make a decision about what to do. She had been living at home by herself and going a month without a bath and peeing everywhere. We had to act and take her home. She has so much money and won’t spend it on herself or care. She returned her hearing aids when she found out how much they were and canceled caregivers we set up at her house. Now she’s at our home and gets mad if I spend anything on her care. Money is all she thinks about! Also we have made her wear diapers and she gets angry everytime I buy them. I’m so frustrated!!
Like your MIL, my aunt is a penny pincher, as well. We had home care attendants against her wishes. She decided she no longer needed them, even though she clearly does. So now she is home, basically alone, and I do not know what is going on with her, but I know it can't be good.
If you can get her in a facility, please do. It's where she belongs. My aunt fights tooth and nail to go into a facility, and doesn't want home care, but wants others to come visit and help.
Whether you hire caregivers to come in the home or place her in a facility tell her Medicare pays for it . Lie, lie, lie .
It will only get worse , I vote for memory care facility .
This will never work, she has lived her life, it is time for you to live yours.
This is her children's problem not yours, stop being their crutch.
Good Luck!
Best of luck.