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I guess you can say, yeah, I am sort of stupid about these pendants! Nevertheless, my mom has a Philips Life Alert, and it will automatically detect if she falls. But does it also detect if she is motionless for a long time, as in when she dies? I have a fear of going over to her house and finding her "dead in her bed" or in her TV chair.....not after a fall, but just sleeping and slipping away. If the pendant can detect death then I can know to bring someone else with me. I apologize for this wierd question but I am a little freaked out by the prospect of finding her dead, and being the only person to deal with it, all alone. What have other people experienced, with the pendants,.and if you found your mom deceased, how did you manage to keep yourself together? Maybe if I rehearse it in my head, I can be better prepared. Thanks for any Help!

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Oh, and those pendants are waterproof, so she definitely should not be taking it off when she showers/bathes. The motion of the pendant being taken off and set down somewhere is probably triggering it to go off, detecting "fall motion".
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If Mom is already gone when you find her, chances are very good that your adrenaline will kick in, and none of the things you mentioned will happen. In times of great stress, we find ourselves doing things we thought we never could. You may freeze up initially, but after the initial shock, your mind will kick into gear and you will start going through the motions of what needs to be done.

Calling 911 is definitely what you should do if Mom is already gone. They will take care of sending an ambulance, the county coroner, etc. If you are concerned about what needs to be done in that case, and how things are handled, you should investigate whether your Mom has funeral arrangements in place, and as Sophe mentioned, make sure you know what her wishes are for her care if she cannot communicate - so if she has a stroke or some other debilitating medical event that prevents her communicating - there needs to be documentation in place to communicate her wishes. This can be called a "living will" or a "do not resucitate order". It will indicate whether she wants lifesaving efforts made on her behalf if she begins to die while in the hospital or while in the care of EMTs or a nursing home.
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Actually there's an article on this website I found really helpful, maybe you would too: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/end-of-life-care-for-dying-loved-one-123287.htm It's a question and answer discussion about dying and death. You might not want to call 911... has she got Do Not Resuscitate orders? This article and others on the site are helpful.
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Thanks Susan for your really good thoughts. I know she has taken her pendant off while showering, and the Life Alert people will call her--very dangerous for her to be startled with a phone ringing while in the shower!!!!!--and then she has felt like she has to explain why the pendant was sitting motionless. Tbis bas happened several times. So I thought there might be a motion "sensor" inside of it, being that they're calling her to see if OK, when it is sitting on her bathroom counter.
But as to the larger question, am I going to find her "dead in her bed" some morning, I don't know how I would react. I've never seen a dead body anyplace except in a casket, and everyone is expecting to see a dead person then......but a dead body when I'm expecting a live one is somehow scary for me. I am afraid I will faint, or vomit, or otherwise become Momentarily incapacitated. I guess I should just plan to call 911. Hope someone with experience finding their mom "dead in her bed" will write in--is there any good way to plan for this?
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No, the pendant will *not* alert when someone dies. They don't detect heart rate or anything like that. Some will detect falls, but most will ony activate if the button on the pendant is pushed by the person wearing it.

If you want to monitor for breathing, heart rate, etc, you'd almost need a medical monitor of some sort set up.

I completely understand your concern, though. It's one that all of us live with - that our loved one that we care for is going to pass in their sleep and we will find them that way. Unfortunately, unless you live with your mom 24/7 and have a video, heart and breathing monitor on her that you are watching at all times, there's really no way to avoid that. You should take comfort in the fact, though, that she is more likely to become ill before she passes away, and you will have more time to prepare for it in your mind.

The only suggestion I can make in terms of preparing yourself for the scenario you mention - her passing in her sleep and you finding her gone - is to just remember that this is no longer "Mom" - it is only her body - the shell her spirit lived in. Her spirit, her soul - what made her "Mom" to you, is gone at that point. If you really have a lot of trouble dealing with the concept of finding her gone like that, I would strongly suggest you see a therapist to deal with that - there's nothing wrong with asking for help with this situation. It's not an easy thing to deal with, and all of us are facing it at some point.
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