This is more of an ethical question than a legal one. I have DPOA and I have signatory rights on her checking account. I spent $2600 to set up her apartment at the Assisted Living Center. I had to completely furnish the apartment. Would it be wrong to use her money to pay for this, since she really didn't want to go to assisted living? My brother is okay with me taking the money from her account (there is only my brother and me) but I don't want anything I do to appear that I am taking something for my benefit. I have all the receipts for all the purchases. I am paying her phone and cable bill myself and I buy her weekly supplies and additional meals (that I take to her or take her out to eat) from my own money. I also buy her clothing and pay for her weekly hair appointment. I'm only considering reimbursing myself for the initial set-up costs of $2600. What would you do?

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Abby, I would reimburse myself, if I were you. Keep careful records of the receipts and your brother's approval of the purchases, just in case someone questions it. I don't know much about Medicaid, but I understand that, should she ever need to go onto Medicaid, they will review your Mother's expenses in recent years to make sure she hasn't just been giving away money to hide assets. That's where the receipts would come in handy.)

Your Mother may not want to move to the ALF, but she will definitely be benefiting from the increased care and the comforts you've provided with the nice furnishings.

Another way to handle it: We purchased a Bruno chair for my truck so that we would be able to travel with mother. My husband & I paid for it, but we have an understanding with my sister that, when Mother's estate is settled, we will be reimbursed for it then--assuming Mother still has assets. If she doesn't, we're okay with that. We're trying to be frugal with Mother's accounts because we don't know how long she may need AL.

Hope this helps. It sounds like your Mother is fortunate to have a very loving daughter to care for her!
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