My mom, age 76, was diagnosed with Alzheimers about 2 years ago. Her parents and only sibling are deceased. My 2 siblings refuse to help financially or emotionally. Ironically my brother and brother-in-law are both Southern Baptist Ministers. My Bro-In-Law insists he and my sister are not responsible for our mother's "poor financial decisions" (Mom was on SSI Disability from age 50 until age 65 when she began drawing SS retirement. She naively assumed Medicare would take care of her medical needs) Therefore, they have no intention of contributing one penny. Legally, I guess he is correct but morally, I would beg to differ. As for my Brother, he will continue to ignore the situation. He says it isn't his concern. I am sure that if there were an inheritance involved, Mom would have scads of attention.This is our mother, yet they offer no Christian concern for her. I wonder how their congregations would feel if they knew.
My husband and I work construction. With no one else stepping up, we left our home of 23 years and moved 1400 miles back to our home state to do what we could for Mom. Since our jobs require us to work out of state approx 7 months a year, we cannot keep Mom in our home. When not traveling for work, I visit Mom at least 2x a week including at least one "field trip" away from her assisted living facility. When we are away, I pay a companion to visit and keep an eye out for Mom. I believe she will be treated better if the facility staff knows someone will be dropping in regularly.
Presently, Mom is in an ALF. She is capable of some self sufficiency, ie, bathing, dressing herself and and other personal hygiene tasks. Her ALF changed ownership about a year ago. I'm no longer comfortable with the level of care her facility provides but we cannot afford to move her anywhere else. That scares me. I feel trapped in this facility because it is the only place we can afford. Mom even shares a room with another lady. The room is designed for one resident and is only divided by a curtain, This helps keep costs down for both ladies.
My mother has no assets and an income of $1710 a month. Needless to say, this is far below the cost of her monthly care. My husband and I are spending between $1900-$2600 a month to subsidize Mom's care incl. the ALF, companion, medical copays and deductibles,meds, personal care items and personal hygiene products. We cannot keep this up indefinitely.
Her income is too high to qualify for medicaid and I don't know where to go for help. SC is limited when it comes to elder care resources. I can't get information or answers about someone in my Mom's financial situation. With an income in excess of Medicaid guidelines, yet not nearly enough to pay her bills, I'm at a loss for solutions.
I live in fear that as this disease progresses and Mom continues to deteriorate, the rising cost of her care will overwhelm us financially and it will still not be enough to pay for her care.
We have already spent most of our emergency savings and had to stop contributing to our retirement last year. He has been wonderful, but I just cannot ask my husband to sacrifice everything we have worked for to provide for my Mom.
Although Mom has never been declared incompetent, I do have her MED & legal POA. She still knows her name, DOB & SS# though many other things do escape her mind. Each month Mom signs a check in partial payment of her room fees drawn from her account. This account has direct deposit for her SSI and small retirement check.
The only way her ALF would allow Mom to move in was if I signed as a secondary party to guarantee payment of their fees.This is the only document I have signed promising payment. I am not the guarantor for any Medical bills or other expenses.
The contract I signed was with the old owners. Does that contract automatically transfer to the new owners along with the physical property? I was never asked to sign a new contract after the sale.
Legally, what are my financial obligations? If Mom requires additional care at a price I cannot afford can they just put her out on the street? What happens when the time comes that she needs to move to a skilled nursing, lock down Alzheimers unit? The cost of that type care is easily triple what we are paying now and I can't pay that.