Our Dad is 85 lived in a Senior Living and has us 4 kids helping him. He is in independent living, we check in AM and PM and on weekends for company and to make sure he takes medicines. Have an extended family member who does not work, he is 25 and has no Caregiving experience. It has been determined by my sister that we will pay him $30 to visit my Dad on the nights she doesn't go. We have offered to go at those times if needed, she has said we will pay him weekly, each of us taking a week to pay his wages. So, when she goes on vacation and cannot provide care for our Dad, who should pay? Us, Her, a percentage? Her rationale about picking him as the caregiver is he is a family member and we trust family more. However, about a year and 1/3 ago he would also help my Dad and my Dad told me "I don't like him coming over, all he does is sleep on the couch while I read the paper and eat". My Dad refused to pay for him, hence us kids having to pay. With one sister having a 10 days vacation and the other a 2 week vacation coming up I am getting concerned over 1) The care provided 2) My Dad's complaints, 3) paying for him when others are on vacation. Also my sister had said that my daughter and her son (who are both RN's should go over for free (of course, after working 3 14 hour shifts they have plenty of time and energy), while my other sister's son is the one we are paying. What is excessive, what is fair, etc. Anyone run into this before? I don't like having to pay for times when my sister cannot go over and provide care, but its all in the family, so to speak and feelings get hurt. I have just been reminded via text its my turn to pay him and that it must be cash and why didn't I leave the money at my Dads for him to get there. I honestly don't carry that much cash with me weekly. Help if anyone has run into this before. How do I respond without hurting everyones feelings? And how do I point out that we are paying for times when people don't want to go/on vacation----Thank You.