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My mom was recently placed in SNF long term. She is an amputee that was wheelchair bound for about 5 years and is now bedridden due to medical difficulties and pain. This has all come about within months of me moving out of state. I have a month left to clear her apartment, leave her with a few personals and arrange anything else besides my own moving. The last few years she has used a neighbor as a part time caretaker/errand runner through the county's low income program. It paid $10 hr.


She has told me she will visit my mom 2x week in the SNF to check on her even though she is no longer paid, to get her gum, personals, etc. There is not much to get as my mom hasn't been getting out of hospital gown for 3 months (pain, bedridden) and doesn't eat (TPN, GI issues) but I think it is important to have someone local, get you a few things if needed or requested. She also can hold a few boxes of personal items for my mom in case she wants something specific. I think she will do this, but I worry as I'm out of state and will visiting just periodically. I'd like to offer her neighbor a similar pay or some sort of companion fee for her time. I feel like if it's some paid time like before she might not get too busy with other clients and my mom get pushed to the back burner. It would be natural that that might happen. What would I offer to pay or how do I go about asking? I can say $10/hr but I'm not sure how many hours realistically it would be. It would be as a more as needed and available. Maybe a weekly amount?

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I think I would want to make a more formal arrangement for a certain number of hours per week rather than leaving it up to whenever needed or when this woman has spare time, that way you can be certain that someone is checking up on her regularly. Ask her to let you know how much time she feels is needed and to keep you updated if things change.
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I would buy her a monthly gift card, like to Walmart or a local food store, I have found people who want to help seem to accept it better as a gift, not pay.
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TK1971 Nov 2019
That's a great idea. Maybe I can ask her what gift cards she might use.
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I'm in MN and oversee in-home care for 2 very elderly aunts in FL. I have a team that consists of their next door neighbors plus my cousin + husband who snowbird down there to help. I don't pay them and they don't want it but I do make sure I gift and thank them often. So, since your mom's caregiver has volunteered, I would take her up on it but do send her thoughtful things often. Especially since you can't really track how many hours she will probably be there. Blessings!
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TK1971 Nov 2019
That's the thing...I can't track hours, and I want her to stay flexible as that is how she has always worked with my mom. She just cared for my mom and was in and out daily and with errands, meals, cleaning,etc, and my mom just gave her all her allowed hours, which I think was 96/month. So in reality she was being paid $960 month. When mom went into the SNF she lost that pay and has increased hours or added another client in the complex, so it's hard to say how much time she will have but she offered 2x week to visit and bring her things she needed. Maybe I am hoping if I offer money she might visit more? My mom's memory/cognitive is declining so maybe she won't need more. Her days run together and can't remember when we were there last, etc. This neighbor/friend knows her very well and can tell me exactly how she is doing and often has more insight than I do to her immediate needs. A lot of my worry comes from the guilt I have from moving so far away at such a horrible time for my mom. But, we can't predict what life rolls out for us.
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