Can I pay myself a small salary for handling my Dad's finances?

Shakingdustoff, We are there doing similar duties. It is hard. Sometimes you wonder if it is worth it. Exception, we are being paid and mom is not demanding. There are many other factors but no matter how you slice it, it's a lot of work. I see by your comments that you have walked in "the" shoes.

Handling an estate and paying someones household bills are not the same. I am not judging anyone. I am making a statement to the person that wrote this post. If anyone else is offended by my response I was not speaking of your situation because I don't know you and was not addressing you. This person mentioned medicaid which to me means there is not a lot of wealth involved. Namaste.

Texas, I apologize - this is your thread and yet shaking the dust off has raised such an unusual point. Unusual here in this venue anyway, maybe not unusual in life. I think my Dad's caregiver might feel the same way. I wonder though - it sounds like your Mom is wealthy.... could there be some payment down the road? Let's say you inherit a hundred grand, if you care for her for twoyears, that's 50 grand a year, not a bad salary, if it is ten years, then yes grumble on. And sorry Charles, people have to eat. I like the comment that we would eat dirt if we had to ensure they have the right care. But far better if we don't have to. Carry on caregivers, I think no one is hard hearted enough to care for someone just for the money. It is too heart breaking to see the changes they go through. Peace out.

I wrote in on this thread in the beginning, and follow along as it continues. I don't know...the longer I am in this the less sometimes I think I know...I guess, thinking out loud, and again, to my own situation, I have a place to live, food to eat, and enough clothing to wear, so it's not like I'm planning on going anywhere anytime soon. It's another one of those topics that is so individualized to each persons situation. I think also that some folks just need less to be happy...thank God I don't need a lot, as my greatest joys come out of the little things like working in my flowers, playing the piano, etc etc...the free stuff, but for me the priceless stuff. I imagine on down the road I may be wishing I had worried more about the financial aspect of it all, but then I've always been a survivor and so I'll figure it out as I go along. None of us are promised tomorrow so I try to not focus so much on way on down the road. I have lost too many friends and family suddenly who thought everything was all cruising along just fine and then suddenly life...and fate...happened. I find myself even questioning my faith a lot these days, but I do think we get what we need to make it along the way...maybe I just had a good day today, but just trying not to worry so much anymore..about any of the monetary aspect....I make it better when I don't.

Yes, you can pay yourself. I do not know how this affects Medicaid. But I would avoid Medicaid at all costs anyway. I live in Texas. My father was in a NH in another state. I was the POA. I kept a detailed spreadsheet of my time and expenses and logged expense reports. In addition, as my father had always provided large checks to me and my family for our birthdays and Christmas, I continued this pattern (with his agreement of course) after I became POA. The amount of time I spent managing his transactions was about 30 hours a month. Due to the travel and time involved, I did end up leaving my job and downsizing to a temp job that allowed me more flexibility to travel to manage my fathers activities. Because this constituted a break in my employment activities, I created an entry on my Linked-In page detailing my activities as POA.

hope22, I think you've got it! Great post. It's the little things that turn out to be the most rewarding. Not the things that say "Look at me, see what great things I have done" But this is a thread about paying oneself. Pay some, pay much. It does depend on the situation and the paperwork. I wouldn't think it is a good idea to do all the caregiving for free and when it's over to be destitute. That wouldn't be smart. But by all means, do keep a record of what you do--pay or no pay. This includes any meds you distribute per doctor's orders.

Yes, whatsagipper...I definitely think keeping a record of what you do could prove invaluable...absolutely...

I recently found out that if the person you are caring for is incapable or incompetent, it is really essential to have a Durable Power of Attorney that specifically states that the "agent" can be "reasonably compensated" for a rate per hour or fixed amount. Of course, the DPOA must be executed before the patient is incompetent, so talk to a lawyer to help set up the appropriate forms ASAP. I use a computer program from NOLO.com - Willmaker - that allows you to prepare a simple will, Health Care proxy, health care directives and DPOA for finances. After completing the easy to use input system, just print them out, have an elder care attorney review them, then signed, witnessed, and notarized, as needed. I've used this for both my mom and me, and am very impressed with the results.

Thanks cmacgreg52 for the info on DPOA. After 8 years of caring for hubby 24/7 with Alzheimer's and not compensating myself a dime, I decided to withdraw a few dollars a week from his account to "pay" myself. Just did it. But, realistically, the more I think about this withdrawal I will see an attorney and make certain, even with POA, the withdrawal is legal. Never thought differently knowing that to have a caregiver come in would cost far more than the pittance I'm paying myself. Thanks again for the advice. Love this website.

I take care of my mother fulltime in my home... (she has dementia) I just got guardianship of my mother, but my oldest sister whom is not my mothers is the trustee...can I legslly take a sslary for caring for my mother from the trust?

Hi I wrote the original question over 2 years ago and my father has since passed away and never had to go on Medicaid. Helen 1930 not sure how to answer you, you might need to consult an attorney. My father never had a trust and all his accounts were joint between me and him with right of survivorship so I just wrote myself a check. I'd say it depends on how the trust is set up and who can sign on the trust account and would write the check. My father had a power of attorney but there was no language in it about paying the agent. The attorney who drew it up never put that language in any of his DPOA documents, I guess maybe to avoid someone being taken advantage of.

Not sure where you live in Texas, but absolutely get in touch with an Elder attorney. There are several good ones in the DFW area. It is really important to take care of things in the correct manner. Just you being on the account "could" possibly get your dad disqualified for Medicaid. My dad doesn't qualify for Medicaid in Texas (where he and I live), but my mom does. However, she lives in Arkansas and the Medicaid laws differ by state. They can also tell you whether you can pay yourself. Also, does your father have a guardianship, that makes a difference as well! Good luck to you!

orsessavedme -- I think you may have misunderstand. My father has died and I don't have any one to take care of anymore. The power of attorney I was referring to was taken out over 10 years ago -- things may be different now. I was just trying to help Helen and give everyone an update since the original question is over 2 years old. Good luck to you also -- it was a long road for me.