I've posted previously and greatly appreciated the feedback provided. To make a long story short, our family learned that my mother has dementia this year. I believe she has been hiding her symptoms for awhile. My children and I currently reside with her and had planned to move this summer because she can be abusive. Since that time, I have found a telecommuting job and another family member has stepped in to help out but now they said they will not be helping as often (if at all) because of her combative nature.
I haven't left yet for a couple of reasons - I found legal documents naming me POA and Trustee (major shocker), her bills have not been paid because one day the lights were turned off so I've now been trying to clean up all debts and keep the lights on which is difficult because she still thinks she is paying bills, but the main reason is because she does not qualify for Medicaid and does not have enough money saved to pay for nursing home care.
She withdrew a lump sum payment three years ago on a reverse mortgage. In the past year while she was trying to hide symptoms of dementia, she let both her long term care and life insurance lapse. I am totally freaking out! We reside in a filial responsibility state and I don't want to be trapped taking care of her with my children that try to stay out of her way. I know it will only get worse because she is not bathing, does not put her toilet tissue in the toilet, believes she is talking to 'others', refuses to accept she has memory issues - therefore, will not take medication. I don't know what to do between cleaning up after her, trying to make sure she is fed when she will only eat specific food without a temper tantrum (delivery pizza and ice cream!) but my stress level is so high that sometimes my hands are shaking and sometimes I start crying and when that happens it can go on for either hours or days. Is there any options so that I can place her in a nursing home and not have my credit ruined with nursing home bills???