How does one go about having the DPOA drawn up if the patient is unwilling to cooperate?

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92 y/o spouse dx'd w/dementia did not even appoint me for a medical POA; he put his sister on the form at the VA hospital and she was astounded when I told her this because she and he do not get along at all. I have been advised that I need a DPOA and an elder lawyer and I have no clue about where/how to do this..

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rovana, pick someone else
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But what to do when the proposed POA person refuses the job?
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i THINK YOU SHOULD RESPECT YOUR SPOUSES WISHES AND NOT PUSH THE ISSUE !
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Sometimes a person picks a POA because they don't want their spouse to be the one who decides to pull the plug. They want someone who will be cool under fire and able make a rational decision.
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Ferris, please reconsider your answer. A person with dementia CAN and often DOES sign a DPOA and or a Medical POA. Having dementia does not automatically make you incompetent to handle that act. In our case, the lawyer simply had to be assured my husband understood what it meant to allow someone else to act on his behalf. Fortunately the attorney came to our house while he was having a good day and he could explain to her what he was signing. If he hadn't been, she was willing to come another day when he was doing better cognitively.

IT IS NOT ILLEGAL for a dementia patient who has not been declared incompetent by a court to appoint DPOA and mecial POA.

Please read the Aging Care Legal expert on this topic, here https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elder-cant-sign-will-trust-power-of-attorney-153521.htm
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Vegaslady, in NYS the POA has to sign to acknowledge reading and accepting the responsibilities. NYS has also tightened up its POA form due to increasing number of situations where fraud occurs.
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Country mouse: Eyebrow-raising at least. Dismaying and disheartening too. Of course the intent is to make sure that it's not too easy to get at somebody who has unscrupulous relatives, but Lord help, I went through all that and had another elder lawyer lined up for a conference and now that the wife is in hospice It all turns out to be a total waste!!!I never did get the Part D supplement that she needed and all the conservatorship account and everything else is now moot.
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I am thinking, best if wife can somehow get Dpoa, Or Guardianship, BUT, if she is anywhere near his age 92, there needs to also be a successor DPOA (and do tbey also appoint succesor Guardians?). I mean, what if the Lord should send His angels and take the wife to her Heavenly Home tonight, where would the husband be in that not too unlikely situation? Best to have all the bases covered. Maybe bring that question up with their kids (if there are some) or grandkids.
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His wife won't be prosecuted unless someone wants to prosecute. The sister won't fight the new document because she doesn't want the job given to her by the old document. Yes, it's better to do without a signature obtained from a demented person, but also yes his dementia may come and go and he could be entirely in his right mind when he signs, and also yes there are times when you have to figure out how to work with the system.
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Ferris, who are you responding to?
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