Patient with dementia has a new physical problem everyday. How do I handle this?

How I wished I had paid more attention to my husband's constant complaining about his health and aptitude. He was still doing engineering consulting work and kept saying that it was taking him longer to do the calculations and drawings. Then he was positive he had a brain tumor and started seeing one doctor after another at our HMO, none of whom ever thought of early-onset dementia when none of the many tests they administered showed a physical problem of any kind. My husband was just trying to make sense of what he could feel happening to his brain.There are a lot of things that I would have done differently if I'd had any inkling that his problem was dementia instead of just letting him soldier on until he couldn't anymore. Since he was diagnosed and closed his business, he's cheerful all of the time, even when he should complain about something. Such a strange disease with so many manifestations.

hes bored and my mum does this BUT she wont go to the doctor at all she obsesses over other things and will go on and on until i either crack or its done i now lie to her and everytime she asks is something done i say yes and this keeps her quiet. I ran out of the house today half asleep as i had an apt with MY doc as im so tired then i rushed around to get shopping home cleaned cooked dinner and put a wash on when mum asked me to make tea i just snapped.

First thing tom im getting her into some daycare as i need a few hours peace i was pushed to the limit today and im exhausted.

I think you need your husband to go to daycare for a few hours a day sometimes you feel like they are out to push you over the edge but its the illness not that knowing this makes it easier but at least he may get interesting in something at daycare.
Also i would lie and say the doctors busy or hell see you tom? when my mum gets obsessed like this i feel like screaming my head off. the last obsession was wanting to wash mounds and mounds of clothes and putting dirty clothes in with the nice clean ones i thought i was going to go crazy on the spot i was so mad as i have to clean it all up again.

Oh yes i think daycare is needed the nurse told me they were sorting it out and that was 3mths ago but i know now i just cant cope with this odd behaviour and need space for me! remember ME!

Kazan, you certainly have my sympathy AND I agree with you about the need for day care or other time for yourself. Our Doctor lives on our street and he very often will stop his car and talk to me on the street while I'm walking my dog. In fact, just yesterday he did. After asking about my husband (he hadn't seen him walking the dog lately) he began ONCE AGAIN stressing to me how important it is for me to get some time for myself. He suggested friends, church people, family,etc. I know he's right - I, like you, feel like I am going off the deep end very often any more. The problem I have is HOW to arrange this. My husband has never been a sociable person, ie. he's not been involved in activities with men. He has always depended on me and done everything WITH me. That's been a private complaint of mine for yrs. - no time to myself. Consequently, it's difficult to just have someone stop by to visit with him for a while. He would definitely resent it as he would feel he was having a "sitter." He definitely would NOT adapt to a Day Care Center. I am praying for a way that I can figure out that I can get just a few continuous hours away to have fun ,shop or just visit a friend.

My mum was never social and i too will have problems with getting her into daycare but enough already we just cant do this all day and night without space i have resigned myself to the fact "its not what they want all the time,its what we need" we need to stop beating ourselves over the head like this i will go with mum to the first daycare and then hoosh her up on that bus every week or ill drop dead!

Think of the time they put us in school for the first time and left us there at aged 4 this is our payback! sorry dosnt relate to husbands i guess but we need to just try it and see if they get used to it we are only human well at least i think i am somedays i wonder if im not superhuman!

Hugs this just gets harder and harder i have a headache after today as ive done too much again thankyou God for "sleeping tablets" im off now to lala land and my escape is my dreams and my cat snuggled up beside me!

The doctor prescribed 10mg cortisone daily for my mother (82).
She does not have any muscular pain or stiffness since she took the pills but she is tired all the time and depressed and she seems to be more forgetful than before.
Please comment if you experienced similar side effects of cortisone treatment?

What would happen if you did NOT follow up to everything as an urgency? Especially if it's something that has already had a response.
Can you try just writing it down in a notebook and waiting?

Sometimes it might be a preoccupation from boredom. Sometimes it might be an anxiety issue. Sometimes it's just normal aging.

Campyb I think we all find ourselves at our wits end, and those that call you selfish and rude are probably people who haven't been in our shoes. My mom is in the final stage of Alz. and because she is basically non-verbal it has gotten easier in that matter. But dealing with a cranky or complaining spouse or parent is sooo depressing and when they have delusions or hallucinations or paranioa it is even worse and it is 24/7! I hope you will disregard those who just don't understand...most of do - only TOO well. Ask your church or hospice if they have a list of volunteers who can come in and give you a break for a few hours. We have a wonderful volunteer who comes every week for 3 hours to give my dad a break. We are so thankful for her! Be gentle on yourself and get away for you as much as possible and don't feel guilty about it. You cannot take care of anyone else if you are burnt-out. There are too many stories about the caregiver dying before the person they care for does! Many hug

123qwe, cortisone treatment can be a blessing but it also comes with a lot of side effects. Sometimes it's a choice - the lesser or evils, so to speak. I'd mention the issues to her doctor and together you can decide if she's better of with or without the cortisone.
Take care,
Carol