What can I do with my partner and the cathater? - AgingCare.com

What can I do with my partner and the cathater?


I sleep on the couch next to his bed and I heard a loud thump this morning about 3:30, I got up and found him lying on the floor. He is so determined that he must get to the toilet to pee. His actions pulled the cathater right out of him - balloon still inflated. I had to call 911 to get him up of the floor. Got him settled, Nurse came and put in cathater and he has had all his meds including those that relax him in addition to the morphine. Now he is fighting again to get up. He does not recognize where we are. He is begging me to help him to the toilet. IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I weight 135 lbs and he is a solid 200 lbs. Reason I had to call 911. It took two men to get him into bed lifting him. He now feels I don't love him because I won't help him to toilet.

He slept all night until he woke up at 3:30 on the floor. I just think the drugs are too low for his weight. I don;t know what to do. Weekend nurses are for emergencies only. She did come and put new cathater in. There are no Medical aids that are employed to work weekends with this hospice. That upsets me and I will be talking to them about this. With all this fighting to get out of bed, the bed is forever having to be remade. And, that in itself is hard work with his weight. I want him at home, not a nursing home. He sleeps all day and fights all night.

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Oregangirl. You have to try and keep the emotion out of deciding what is best for your partner. If he falls agian he may break abone the next time and then he would have to go to the hospital. He thinks you don't love him because you can not make him better. You know that is not true but his reason is gone.
I am afraid the truth is that some hospices simply do not have the money to be able to provide the aid you need. I believe you live in a fairly remote area and not for profit hospitals rely heavily on outside contributions to keep going and I suspect you are in a poor rural area. Ask about increasing the anti anxiety medications to see if that quietens him and he sleeps most of the time. The very dark urine either means that he is dehydrated or that his liver is failing. Not a close sign of death but the time is getting short. Make certain he is not in pain. If he wants to eat let him but limit it to soups and things like jello and ice cream just in tiny spoonsful so he does not choke.
When you do get him up the bed wrap a pillow in a long sheet and put it against the soles of his feet and tuck the ends in as hard as you can under the mattress. Also raise the center of the bed a little under his knees. Is there anyone who can come and stay with you for a few weeks just for support. You only need to fall and hurt yourself and there will be no one to help him so do what is best not what is ideal if you can't
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My partner is in a bed 24/7, so I roll him and massage and cream his back and hips, legs and feet. When he coughs i raise him up with all my might, point his chin to his chest to open the air line. Then he is forever sliding down in the bed. I cannot use the draw sheet as he is too heavy even for two people. I usually put the lower end of bed all the way up to give me leverage as I pull the bottom sheet UP to get his head to the top of bed. He weight a SOLID no fat 200 lbs. I put my mind into the pulling as I only weigh 135 lbs. He asked me yesterday how long will this take, meaning dying. They have ordered his doses up and times between shortened. I still feed him but cut things up very small. His urine is the color of dark tea but the nurse does not equate that to the end being near. They did with my mom. I believe it is the Kidneys shutting down. I just want honesty from the nurses. I change daily as I can make it without him to I don't know how I will do it. I cannot do housework at a regular pace as I sleep whenever I can. I moved the couch next to his bed to be near him I don't know what to say anymore..I hate this part of life. I just could not put him in a home. He has a cathater and he wants to pee. I tell him to go ahead, and he says, your love has died. He does not understand. This morning I heard a THUMP, he had actually gotten his legs over the rails and out of the bed falling onto the floor. I had to call 911 to assist me to put him back in bed. This fall pulled his cathater out and the nurse had to come to put a new one in. Now this afternoon he wants to pee again and does not remember the episode this morning. I pray he goes peacefully soon. I am afraid to go to sleep now. I tied a bell to the side of the bed where he thinks the bathroom is located. I never want to do this again.
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OregonGirl, what a journey you are going through with your beloved. Is he now in a child like stage, maybe that is why he doesn't understand why you can't help him to the bathroom, he no longer thinks of himself as a full size adult.

When your partner sleeps during the day, is he in bed or sleeping sitting up in a recliner/sofa? If yes, I found that if someone has physical pain that laying down in bed can be a real bear, depending on where the pain is located.
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