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Dad constantly falls, just diagnosed with full blown Parkinsons disease and is in hospital right now, refusing to go to rehab...will do nothing proactive to help himself, but hospital staff says they cannot force him. He won't even give my mother POA, she is very ill herself and is no longer able to care for dad at home. He insists on going home. I believe he just wants to die...he gave up a long time ago, he is also very abusive to my mom.....he listens to NO ONE....my brother & I do not know what to do,.,...any suggestions would help thank you

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The original poster's dad is currently in the hospital wanting to go home. She needs to talk to the hospital social worker about the situation. It is possible that your dad's doctor can write orders to ONLY release him from the hospital into a nursing home, especially, if you tell the social worker and doctor that he cannot be cared for adequately at home since your mother is ill and they don't have in-home care. Normally, when someone is supposed to go to rehab from a hospitalization it is because that is the ONLY way they can possibly become independent again. If your dad won't go to rehab, then he's going to become completely dependent for help moving and walking and toilet ing. So, basically, he HAS to go to either rehab or a nursing home.

I can't tell what stage Parkinson's you mean by "full blown" - is it stage 4 - Severe disability but still able to walk or stand when assisted or stage 5 - wheelchair bound or bedridden?

I also believe that you need the advice of an elder care attorney in this situation so that you and your brother can try to either get POA's or you and your brother may need to seek guardianship of your father and mother if they will not give you POA's to care for them. Here's the deal, guardianship costs about $10,000 to get, but once you have it, you can pay yourselves back for the attorney fees from your parents' estate because it was done for them - to keep them safe and make sure they are well cared for.
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If I may cont-,
Sorry for over blowing this thread.
The dirtyest thing to do is have the State step in on things. You and your parents don't want that to happen. Cause, loss of trust and fights. You kids should know what kind of conditions your parents are living in.If not you kids better go take a visit to your parents home to check on their living conditions now. There's no need to call the police to have a wellness check if you all know their living conditions. Calling the police to do a wellness check is called dirty pool. That's the last step to take when no other options are there for you to do.
You need a Springing POA problem solved.
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Sorry to hear about Dad's Parkinsons.
If Dad was never told by a doctor incompatent. Then, Dad has his right's to do what ever he desires. You stated that Dad was just diagnosed with full blown Parkinsons disease. Maybe your moving to fast. You need to give your Dad some time to think things thur. He was just diagnosed. That's a lot of stress for your Dad to take in all at one time. You need to give more time for your Dad to think about his new life. Give your Dad more options. He needs to know his options. Think of other options you can tell him. The way it sounds he thinks he's out of options and very stressed. Stress will cause Dad to be abusive. First thing you need to do is get on Dad's good side at this time. Give him something he wants to hear. I'm sure at this time he heard enough stress from his family, doctor and friends all ready. He was just diagnosed you may need to give this more time for your Dad's sake. Give him a few days if not a week or two to relax to think about things. Think of things he wants to hear to make him happy. I'm sure he was told by all of you all ready about what would happen if he gets worse. By now he know's his options to do. That's a big step for your father to do to giveup his rights. Someone in your family needs to be the good one. Dad needs to know who he can trust. Someone in the family if not you, needs to get on his good side to earn his respect & trust. That requires telling him things he wants to hear. I hope Dad gains trust with you, brother and Mom because, trust is your ticket to POA.
If I'm correct you said Mom is sick to. Sounds like both Mom & Dad needs a POA.
Sounds like Dad doesn't want a POA because, of trust issues. Earn his trust first and for most.
I think what your Dad's problem is, He thinks by giving a POA he is losing his right's. If Dad is compatent now and paying his bills at this time he don't need a POA. You need to tell Dad by giving you POA is not taking away his rights to do things. You need a Springing POA. Once you explain to Dad what a Springing POA is. He will agree to do it. A springing POA doesn't take effect until Dad is incompatent. In other words if you become your Dads Springing POA? Your POA is on stand by mode until Dad needs you. With that said Dad will understand and should agree to it.If Mom agrees to have her self a POA. Take Mom to a attorney to create a Durable POA. Take Dad to the same attorney for a Springing POA.
Remember one thing? POAs is not allowed to be Joint on parents, clients bank accounts. If your allready joint? It's best to have your name removed from Joint on the accounts. Because, once you become Durable POA. Your incharge and have full control of their life. If your parents will ever need to go to a nurcing home? That's when Medicaid kicks in. Medicaid now goes back 5 yrs. That means all money spent in the past 5 yrs needs to be accounted for by the POA.
Last, If your parents wants to give you kids anything as money items ect? They better do it now. Because, once your their POA. You can't accept money or gifts. And a POA is not allowed to donate, gift or barrow.
This all relies on one question and concern, Does your family plan to place your parents in a nurcing home? That's the question!..If so, Medicaid goes back 5 yrs.
Hope this all helps you and your family.
Best,
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I would ask the county health department where they live to check their welfare. If they are found living in deplorable conditions, the authorities will step in.
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Try hospice. They helped wonderfully with my mom. Even if you think they don't qualify, there is a possibility and they can at least do an evaluation.

Contact senior care services such as the Department of Human Services in their state. If there is neglect, even self neglect, the state can step in.

It probably varies by state, but many times, if a judge grants conservatorship your parents would have to pay. But if you bring the suit and it is not granted, you would have to pay the attorneys fees, court costs, etc.
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