My mother and stepdad are both in moderate to severe dementia and their doctor has recommended placement in LTC. I think my stepdad will agree without much resistance, but I am expecting my mother who thinks she's perfectly capable of caring for them (but doesn't even try -- can't remember to take her meds or help him take his; refuses PT, -- I could go on) to pitch a fit.
I'm in Texas. I am in the process of getting them approved for Medicaid and hope to have that in place by Oct 1. I have read many stories online of older folks refusing care or going to a nursing home and us caregivers and the elder care industry are powerless to force them or keep them there. Further, since as a child of my mother anyway since I have taken on the role of caregiver it seems that I can be charged with elder abandonment if I just walk away. They have all the cards and power, but they're incapable of making sound decisions for themselves or each other.
Any suggestions on how to navigate this nightmare?
I should mention that I have POA and med POA in place for both of them.