How do I convince parents they need to establish regular assistance at home, and what to do if they refuse?

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Both father mother are in need of assistance at home but mother's health is declining rapidly and neither of them want to accept a stranger at home. What are the sons legal options?

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Unless they are mental incompetent, leave them alone. You can say you love them and want them to be safe and cared for, but you cannot force them to do anything they do not want to do. Help them as much as you can (since you are family) and that is all you can do. They will find out soon enough they need help. Stubbornness is not against the law.
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This could be manipulative behavior or they may not want to spend their money. We had to wait until Mom fell, was hospitalized and the discharge planner insisted she have visiting nurses twice a week. Fortunately Medicare covers the VNA.
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My husband has a harmless "crush" on his caregiver, which I encourage because he's so much happier receiving care this way!
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I have had this problem with my husband who really resents having home health aides come to the house who sometimes have to tell him what to do. He has said that he does not think that strangers have the right to tell him what he can and cannot do in his own home. For this reason, I send him to an adult day care program. They have rules about what participants can and cannot do there as well but my husband is more accepting of this when he is there because it is not on his "turf". The day care program is also much more stimulating for my husband than staying at home because it includes music sessions, exercise sessions and pet therapy as well as the opportunity to socialize with others during breakfast and lunch. My husband actually enjoys going to his day program, although it took a little while for him to get used to it.
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I'd like to know, if only in the abstract. my father was independent / pig headed all his life, never willing to spend a nickel on help, even after Mom quit cooking due to leaving burner on, and my brothers offered to chip in for in-home help. we ended up in a situation with state social services involved, and now Mom and Dad are staying with separate brothers, their home sold and "stuff" parsed and in storage, not ideal for anyone, but looked like the best of bad solutions.
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I would love to know this answer. My husband does not want any stranger in the house to help, he keeps saying I can take care of myself and gets very angry. I especially need someone to be there so that I can get out for awhile.
Josie 1927
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