imworkingonit Asked July 2017
Both parents need care, and I have no siblings. Do I keep them at home with me or not?
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Dad has Parkinson’s and Parkinson’s dementia. He is otherwise healthy. He can still do most activities of daily life for himself, but is sundowning, and it is very difficult to get him to take his meds. He fixates on strange things, and may refuse to eat because it “interferes with my medication." My mother suffers short-term memory loss, but denies it. She also has neuropathy, sjoegren’s syndrome, arthritis, high blood pressure, pacemaker, can’t get around without a walker, and has attitude. Right now my husband and I have them living with us, but I am starting to wonder how long we can do this. Anyone else have both parents needing care at the same time?
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How long can you do this? It depends on your own energy and your health. If you and/or your husband are senior citizens yourself, you will find your energy level will eventually crash, and your patience running thin.
When you find yourself wanting to run out of the house and go screaming into the night, you need to hire caregivers to help out, if your parents approve [some refuse caregivers, my Mom did]. Caregivers from an Agency cost around $20-$30/hour. Don't you pay this, this is for your parents care.
Or if it is within your parent's budget, to move to Independent Living that has higher skill options. That way there will be Aides to help out. Weekly cleaning service, weekly linen service, and meals in the main dining room, or Mom could do a light breakfast and light lunch in her own apartment full-size kitchen. The cost for two people would be around $6k per month, depending on your area. Later they can move to Assisted Living/Memory Care.
I was a senior who had two very elderly seniors who were still living in their own house. No way I could be hands-on caregiver, so I did the logistical stuff. My folks mainly had age relate decline, hearing issues and eye issues. Dementia hadn't shown up yet. It was a long stress driven seven years, to which I crashed and burned twice. As I mentioned my Mom refused caregivers, so I let my folks continue as they were, while I had sleepless nights and would panic when the phone rang. Once Mom passed, Dad was ready to pack for senior living, and he loved it there :)
Blessings,
Jamie