My 88 year old mom tells him she does not love him and does not want to live with him anymore. she yells "SHUT UP" at him when he tries to say something. She tells him he is a liar and a sorry human being. She is very judgmental telling him he will "bust hell wide open". She is on a anti depressant. I seemed to work for a few weeks but 5 days ago it was like turning on a switch. We want to talk to her about but we are afraid we will set her off even more. What can we do?
Blessings,
Jamie
Next, you need to arm yourself with all the knowledge you can about memory issues, the more you know the better you will be able to spot new situations and realize this is this part of the dementia journey. Both your parents may experience the same issues or each have their own separate dementia issues.
Scroll down to the bottom of the page to the blue section... on your left your will see ALZHEIMER'S CARE... click on that and read everything you see there, even if it says Alzheimer's, as it is also part of dementia.
Because of the dementia you can't expect your dad to understand that mother's behavior is driven by her illness. And you certainly can't reason your mother out of her behavior. I don't see any point in talking to her about it. Even if she agrees with you she probably won't remember the next time she sees her husband.
Can you keep them apart most of the time? Do they have separate bedrooms? Could they have in your home? (I know that is a lot to ask.) If medical intervention doesn't help, ultimately the way to separate them is to place one (or both) in an appropriate care facility.
And just in case you have any doubts, this is Not Your Fault.