one of my brothers is agent for dad and another brother for mom, but my dads agent has taken over my moms money and medical decessions, my mom agent wont step up to do what mom wanted, what can i do
unfortunately, despite good intentions, the "principal" listed on the POA document is the ONLY person who can change it, and if they become incapacitated (look on the document to see what they define that as), then they cannot change the document. The POA themselves cannot change the POA document. They can decide to let the responsibility slide to a Successor listed on the POA, but they cannot change the Successors. I am not an Elder Law attorney but have been studying up for an upcoming visit with an Elder attorney for my parents benefit.
The DPOA who is not taking action is in fact making the decision by letting the other one do it...a DPOA can be removed if they are not living up to the terms of the DPOA documents, not looking out for the best interest of the person they are DPOA for.
Is it possible that because of Mom's dementia and dad and sis being unable to care for her as well as manage themselves, that the brother who has taken charge could in fact be making the right calls after all? Avoiding Medicaid if possible might be a good idea that would let the home stay in the family, and assets besides the home would have to be spent down before getting Medicaid in any event. The home is an exempt asset as long as there is a community spouse or probably the disabled daughter wanting to live there, or even if the person in the nursing home states they plan to return, though eventually there would be anestte recovery process. Be sure that although this is an unhappy turn of events from your point of view, that there has really been wrongdoing before you try for guardianship or even report to APS (adult protective services) but if you have confirmation that money is being wrongly spent (not on Mom's care) then of course you should. Is there a chance the brother who is taking action would send you an accounting of what the money is going for?
You can still report the situation to the authorities. It's robbery any way you look at it. Elder abuse is a good buzz word. Depending on the state where you live, you can object to this kind of behavior and have the law behind you. I would also suggest an elder law attorney.
I have gone to three lawyers, each one has their own idea, but they all come to the conlusion I cannot do anything. One of the named POA's has failed to act, and the second also. as MagMarsh comments, but the lawyers say still I would have to get guardianship and that takes time and lots of money.
This is complicated, swags, and I think you should see a lawyer who specializes in Elder Law. The fact that there is a disabled daughter complicates matters, but the Medicaid rules do not wish to impoverish a spouse or disrupt the care of a disabled child. Maybe what your brother is doing is perfectly appropriate, especially if he has gotten guidance from an elder law attorney. But for your sister's sake, I think you should discuss this with your own lawyer.
The house can legally be transferred to a disabled child, or a caregiver child that has provided care for a period of two years prior to going to a facility, in most states. Check with your medicaid office.
The problem I see is if cash was used for anything other than parents care medicaid will impose a penalty equal to the amount of money that may have been misappropriated. Medicaid require that assets be down to a value of $2,000.00 before it can kick in. Or maybe there has been some sort of trust fund setup for disabled sister which would have separate rules under Medicaid.
Medicaid looks back five years. If there's a home, Medicaid will get it unless it's somehow excluded because of your dad. (Spousal impoverishment) But Medicaid isn't going to start paying for BOTH as long as there's a family home. As for going thru the money like crazy, that's usually what happens when a nursing home is involved. As long as the money, by and large, is used to benefit the person involved, there's not much one can do. There is something about not going through ALL of it for one spouse, though. Hopefully your brother knows what he's doing or has gotten the advice of an attorney so that your mom is somewhat protected and your dad's needs don't go through all their together-money.
If both of your parents are incompetent, there's very little chance you can change the POAs unless there's fraud involved or one of them fails to act. Who's the back-up? Maybe the back-up will act.
swags, if I were you I would contact the local county Medicaid offices, to see if you can apply for your parents. There is always a spend-down. It sounds like there won't be any money left over, after paying their nursing home bills, for "my sisters to be able to keep the family home". But your county offices might be able to shed some light on that. I really dislike these POA situations, I'm in one too, my sibling is not doing things for our parents benefit, they are doing what is convenient for them instead.
Dads agent also has written a warranty deed with life estate and remainder over, this document sold the real estate to my disabled sister 49 who has never left home, with all brothers as remainder men, I am not sure how this document works. They also have not tried to qualify mom for medicaid and running through money that was to be used for my sisters to be able to keep the family home.
thank you for response, their money was in cd's but after the brother placed mom in a nursing home without me knowing, all cd's were cashed out I am not sure where their money is, Mom is in a nursing home and has dementia, dad is at home with my disabled sister, he is also getting dementia, Neither can remove the agents they appointed. I asked the brother under what power was he using to place mom in nursing home and make finacial descissions he said verbal. I have located documents mom had made but I am not the named agent, the brother that is her agent wants to keep the peace int the family wont do as mom asked. Moms DPOA and Executor are the same.
Are your parent's bank accounts joint? Sounds very complicated, but perhaps, if your mom is able to change her POA, point out how her current POA is simply not doing their job, and ask her to remove them and appoint you. Then you go and clear out your mom's half of any joint accounts and put them in a new account with only your mom's name on it. Another thing to remember, these POA ends when your mom dies/dad dies. Who is the Executor, same people?
one of my brothers is agent for dad and another brother for mom, but my dads agent has taken over my moms money and medical decessions, my mom agent wont step up to do what mom wanted, what can i do
The POA themselves cannot change the POA document. They can decide to let the responsibility slide to a Successor listed on the POA, but they cannot change the Successors.
I am not an Elder Law attorney but have been studying up for an upcoming visit with an Elder attorney for my parents benefit.
Is it possible that because of Mom's dementia and dad and sis being unable to care for her as well as manage themselves, that the brother who has taken charge could in fact be making the right calls after all? Avoiding Medicaid if possible might be a good idea that would let the home stay in the family, and assets besides the home would have to be spent down before getting Medicaid in any event. The home is an exempt asset as long as there is a community spouse or probably the disabled daughter wanting to live there, or even if the person in the nursing home states they plan to return, though eventually there would be anestte recovery process. Be sure that although this is an unhappy turn of events from your point of view, that there has really been wrongdoing before you try for guardianship or even report to APS (adult protective services) but if you have confirmation that money is being wrongly spent (not on Mom's care) then of course you should. Is there a chance the brother who is taking action would send you an accounting of what the money is going for?
The problem I see is if cash was used for anything other than parents care medicaid will impose a penalty equal to the amount of money that may have been misappropriated. Medicaid require that assets be down to a value of $2,000.00 before it can kick in. Or maybe there has been some sort of trust fund setup for disabled sister which would have separate rules under Medicaid.
If both of your parents are incompetent, there's very little chance you can change the POAs unless there's fraud involved or one of them fails to act. Who's the back-up? Maybe the back-up will act.
It sounds like there won't be any money left over, after paying their nursing home bills, for "my sisters to be able to keep the family home". But your county offices might be able to shed some light on that.
I really dislike these POA situations, I'm in one too, my sibling is not doing things for our parents benefit, they are doing what is convenient for them instead.
Sounds very complicated, but perhaps, if your mom is able to change her POA, point out how her current POA is simply not doing their job, and ask her to remove them and appoint you. Then you go and clear out your mom's half of any joint accounts and put them in a new account with only your mom's name on it.
Another thing to remember, these POA ends when your mom dies/dad dies. Who is the Executor, same people?