Someone posted that they now know after caregiving how to plan for their future. So true!
Mom suddenly couldn't walk one day and went to short term rehab. She's been there for 7 months without much improvement, she still uses a wheelchair. Their home is not conducive to wheelchair use so she will most likely go into permanent long term care.
Dad has Lewy Body Dementia and had several falls at home. He went to the ER on Christmas day after a fall. He checked out ok but husband insisted he go to long term care. Dad had a hospital stay for 11 days, to find a care facility bed, and has been in a NH where my mom is for about a month. They do not have memory care there so we are trying to find a new NH for him. The hospital made arrangements first for a place we visited and it was awful! They just lost their certification recently. Go figure. We were able to get him in to NH where mom is.
Because mom and dad never planned for long term care, they are on Medicaid. Let alone, it's hard to just find an available Medicaid bed, the places we have seen are less than ideal. My dad is currently in a shared room that is only 10' by 10' ( the minimum state requirement size for a shared room), shares a bathroom with 3 other people (door between two shared rooms for two women and two men), and has a hanging bar for his clothes just 3 feet wide. I can tell this room was originally intended for just one person, but they make more money this way.
He knows we are looking for another place, so it keeps his hopes up. There will be no income from the sale of their home, they had a reverse mortgage, and any profit from the sale will be taken by Medicaid. We still have the home. My husband and I moved from out of state last year to take care of them. We still reside in the home.
I've entertained thoughts of moving dad back home but my husband would divorce me. He did not handle taking care of dad for 6 months very well, and he's even a Paramedic / Firefighter. We cared for dad full time for 6 months. I think my husband was quick to get dad into a NH more so for us and not for dad. I've gone back to work full time and husband will go start again in May. Husband is quick to get rid of my parents' household things and get rid of the house. I'm not so sure I couldn't move dad back in to the house and go back to being his full time caregiver. I really didn't have a hard time with it. But it could destroy my marriage.
Mom is still on the rehab side of the NH and probanly will be for a awhile. Not even sure what to do about options for her in the near future.
And currently don't know what to do between awful options for dad, and my marriage!