What do you do when your parents health are failing neither they nor their children can afford a nursing facility? - AgingCare.com

What do you do when your parents health are failing neither they nor their children can afford a nursing facility?

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Parents also live in another state and won't move near children who would care for them.

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dddiii doesn't give the parents' ages or the way in which their health is failing, but long-term insurance may not be a feasible solution in this situation. The older and less-healthy the applicant is, the higher the premiums.
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Look into long-term care insurance. It will help cover costs of nursing homes and other care facilities such as assisted living and adult day care centers. For adult children who have aging parents, this insurance policy can really help in taking care of the parents' long-term medical expenses and protect family lifesavings as well from expensive healthcare bills. Just remember to compare quotes first before buying a plan. According to freeltcquotes, quotes show what options you have in benefits and premium rates, plus all eligible discounts based on your personal information. Buying without comparing quotes can be a costly mistake.
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Don't know all the facts but we found Board and Care ($2500-3000 a month)much cheaper than Nursing Facilities ($6750 a month). Board and care has max of 6 residents in a common residential house. In CA they regulate them. Also mom is much more content there than in the more chaotic nursing home environment. With moms Social Security check and renting out her condo we have it paid for without spending down her other assets. If you have no or low assets have you talked to Medicaid in your state. God Bless
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Get a Healthcare POA in place as well as a DPOA so you can handle this situation because your parents are in no position to. Then move them to your state so you all (children) can take care of them. It's either that, or go on Medicaid and let the state they are in pick up the tab. That state may or may not have the funds to do that, so I suggest get them where you can take care of them. That's what responsible children do for their ailing parents.
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There are programs out there. As stated by VSTEFANS, " is gather facts." We have heard that 'knowledge is power' and YOU need to get that. Though not always easy, being here is a start. All here have situations that are the same, yet different in their nuances.

There is NO easy, quick, one size fits all solution. The investment of time is the minimum requirement. All my 'siblings' live "in another state" (TX, OH & MI) leaving my the closest to NY (268 miles, doorstep to doorstep). At this time of year, especially, Mother has asked to move closer. This is a change from just a few months (May 2013) ago; which she had indicated no desire to do. Having been born, raised and no living relatives still in NY, she now wants to be closer. That raises a whole new set of, dare I say, concerns. BUT it will be dealt with as best it can be. More research, questions and answers are required and I will get them.....as should YOU.
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Have you had a conversation with them about what they would like to see in their future. Obviously everyone ages (until you don't) and there are some relatively predictable things which happen in that process. You are not saying these things because you are hoping they die soon and leave you an inheritance but, instead, because you care about them and want them to have as much control as possible over their future. No one has complete control over their future. A will, living will, power of attorney for health care decisions, general power of attorney, trusts, etc.are ways that people use to help plan their future and establish as much control as possible. It sounds like your parents are likely legally competent and, with some assistance, could work through the process to get these papers in place. An elder law attorney could be quite helpful.

None of these things may convince your parents to move (which is a big deal for most seniors) closer to their children or provide a way for one of their children to move closer to them. It does, however, start the conversation and shows your care for them. Instead of it sounding like you want them to do these things so that they will end up doing what you want, you approach them with a desire to help them and learn what they want and hope for in the future.
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Wellll...

what you do is gather facts. Visit. Look for papers you are going to need when failing turns to failed. Tour independent living, assisted living and skilled nursing facilities, depending on what the needs are, both in their area and nearer to you. Get cozy with local Area Agency on Aging or the equivalent. Think about an estate planner consultation to help all of you. You may be looking at selling a house, you may be looking at a Medicaid spend-down, and community living waiver versus facility care...it is hard to know until you know a lot more. This is probably totally unfamiliar turf for you, as it was for most of us. There is a lot out there and one very steep learning curve. possibly, you are a few steps ahead of the need, so that's to the good!
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