My father is 86 years old and vital in many ways; his primary problem is some urinary incontinence, wearing the same clothes over and over and not showering. He was here recently for 2 weeks and so faras I know, he took one shower, although he said several times that he was going to. He leaks urine pretty bad and does wear a pad, the question is, how often does he change it. I know that he does not not wear it at night when sleeping, nor does he wear underwear (he comes out in the a.m. 1/2 naked to go to the bathroom, He urinate on the bed, in the floor in the bathroom, on the furniture and on himself. He can't smell, so he is not aware that he smells unless someone (me) tells him. It is VERY difficult to talk with my dad about this over and over and over. He knows he has a problem. Just recently he emptied a pee bucket that he keeps in his room and he not only missed the toilet, it felt as though he dumped the whole thing on the floor.This could have been a mistake, but he doesn't clean it up and he does not tell us. He has had fecal problems too, where feces was all over the toilet seat (on the top), which he had to see, but did not clean up, nor did he tell us about it. I love my dad dearly and I know this has to be so hard on him; I am tryinig to be sympathetic, but something has to change.He has been told numerous times to change his clothes, to change his bedding (for when he is at his house, I change it when he is here), and to shower. I say these things as gently as possible to him.. he will do it one time, but then goes back to his old ways. I have read that this type of conversation comes better from an old friend, or from a Dr. than it does from children. I am considering calling his Dr. to see if he will talk with dad. Does anyone have an suggestions on what to do, or how to better handle this? Any suggestions would be appreciated., Thanks so much.