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My mother has had a governemnt pension and social security to help her live comfortably since her work disability when she was 55, now 80 years old. Meanwhile she had given most of her and her parents stuff to my sister who keeps asking for things from car to snowblower and antiques. meanwhile I helped take care of my grandmother. We both share the driving for our mother and now more things like dr visits etc. She also has been invited to and brought presents($30+) to all birthdays in their family for all ages up to 56. Every sat night they take her to church and she treats them (includiing girlfriends of g'kids" to dinner. She is now out of money and requires pca care in the home. Who is supposed to pay for this? She does qualify for a homemaker but not a pca and she cant walk well and is in the process of using a wheelchair fulltime with no one living there. She says she doesn't want anyone there.On my husband's side, his 80 year old dad is paying for his grandson's divorce after paying for his son's divorce. He needs knee surgery and is running out of money. He has supported this divorced family for over twenty years. The g'son uses his 2 year old daughter to get money, usually 500.00 at a time. When I told my father-in-law that he needs to be saving for himself now, he said you don't know what it's like to get divorced we're going to get even with that girl. My nephew and his dad both used manipulation to turn him against their wives who left them because of abuse. Should i just set boundaries and say, "okay it's your time to pay back the favor when they need your help. You took their money and you can use yours to pay them back. Is this wrong? We have raised five children and sent them to college without asking anyone for favors on a modest income. We could've asked for help but would not do it unless it were for medical or an emergency, definitely not to pay for a divorce. What's your opinion,. From: Ready to pack and leave this crazy state.

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There isn't anything you can do... both your Mom and your husband's Dad are adults and they can do whatever they want with their own money, even throw it out the window should they be inclined. I know it is hard to watch this soap opera, just listen to what everyone has to say and then change the subject.
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