Elderly parent now rejecting adult children. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

Elderly parent now rejecting adult children. Any advice?

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Have any of you faced this situation ? I moved in with my elderly father nearly two years ago. Since my mother passed away four years ago, he has changed toward me, my children and two of my siblings. He only shows love to my older sister but it is almost to the point of unhealhy obsession. He is insanely jealous. If she and I talk he demands that we talk in his presence. If we go out together he becomes angry toward me as if I have taken her from him.
He treats his Home Health Caregiver better than me. In fact Ive learned that he has made it point to mention that we (me and my siblings) are adopted. I have a feeling that was he actually said was that Im not his daughter. This is so hurtful to me especially since his Home Health Caregiver is the last person that should know extremely personal information. She disregards anything I say regarding the household and now I know why because my father has made it clear that he does not view me as his daughter. He does not realize that she is the kind of person that will try to find a way for him to leave money to her if he should pass away. Im at a loss.

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If you have any power to do so, change out that caregiver. You live there, it is your home, your place of residence? (Don't care who owns it!) Your children live there? It is no wonder you are feeling as you do. You will need to protect your children. Move out as soon as you are able. Start by putting a lock on a door leading to your personal spaces. She should not have access to you or your family. You just do not need another person acting against you.
One way to bring this change about without a confrontation, is to hire your own 'housekeeper', chosen by you, but someone Dad will love. The 'housekeeper' will have caregiver capacity to take over Dad's care when his caregiver is exposed as who she/he is. Sounds devious, but it can be done honestly for Dads benefit.
Have both there at ths same time. Compliments all around, nice nice, The new one will 'help out' when the other one fails to show up-which is almost a guarantee that will happen under the added scrutiny. I give it 30 days.
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Was this a sudden change or gradual change in your fathers behavior? Could it be related to meds, diet, infection, head injury, stroke, or onset of dementia? I think he needs to be evaluated medically and mentally.
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Well I hope that is what it is. I did not think of that. Ever since Ive moved in with my father he has been horrible toward me and my children. We dont need an unsavory person to try to use this situation to her advantage.
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I understand how you feel. Sometimes if an elderly person had a stroke or a series of small strokes it can cause personality changes. In addition, has he hit his head in any way? The head is much more delicate in older people, especially during a fall, etc. I realize how hurtful it is to you, but possibly it could be something he cannot help. Possibly you could discuss this with his physician. Hope all goes well.
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